Responsibly Guiding Your Child Athlete...

More Abuse...

2011-12-07T15:02:00.002-05:00

After I blogged last month on child abuse, there have been several high-profile abuse allegations. Both Syracuse basketball coach Bernie Fine and former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky were accused of multiple counts of sex abuse. Disgusting.

How does this happen? Honestly, I'm not certain. But one thing I am certain of is that I want to protect my children.

I have personally met sexual abusers and suspected sexual abusers. My fifth grade math teacher went to jail for molesting students during class. I also know a coach who was repeatedly accused of sexual abuse, but no charges were ever filed. Based on a few personal observations, here are several signs of potential abuse:

Coaches lingering around showers.
Kids sitting on coaches laps.
Coaches being overly friendly (or too touchy...).
Coaches selectively giving lavish or excessive gifts.

More signs to watch for are noted on ProtectKids.com and at USAToday.com. Of course, you need to use basic common sense to determine if a coach or another adult is crossing the line. My best advice is when in doubt, keep your child away from a potential abuser. Go with your gut.

Please, keep your children safe. Just my two cents...

Kim

Child Abuse--Protect Your Child...

2011-11-03T19:49:00.002-04:00

I'm thoroughly disgusted by the the video released today (for which I will not post a link) of a Texas judge whipping his 16-year-old daughter with a belt. First, I'm going to scream at all of you--protect your children!

In school, church, athletic, and other programs, there are abusers and child molesters out there. And, of course, there are abusers within homes by caregivers, parents, friends, and relatives. This is horrendous. I truly want to vomit as I write this. Children are often innocent and helpless. We need to keep our eyes open and attempt to keep our children safe and unharmed.

As parents, we need to teach our children right from wrong. The child in the video which I mentioned above, was being punished for illegally downloading from internet. Sure, that is wrong. However, if the child's father had parked illegally and received a parking ticket, would the child have had the right to beat the father with a belt? No way. I know many of you might disagree, but I believe if it is not appropriate for adults to hit other adults, then it is not appropriate for adults to hit children. You can argue with me, but that is my stance.

Please, in the best interest of your child's mental and physical health, do not abuse your children. Also, report any abuse that you might suspect or oversee. I beg you...

The Responsible Athlete...

2011-08-28T18:19:00.003-04:00

From forgetting (or neglecting) to put dishes in the dishwasher to attending practice without a water bottle, kids are irresponsible. We all know this is the case.

Is self-responsibility important? Absolutely. Many (but not all) of us tend to baby our athletes. You know what I mean--allowing her to head to school late after a long weekend of travel, buying a water bottle or Gatorade for the vending machine after she forgot to bring one from home, or purchasing a mouthguard from the soccer pro shop because she "lost" hers and didn't place the spare in her bag.

I admit it--I'm guilty of enabling my kids. I don't want to see my children miserable and forced to miss a game or practice when I can fix their mistakes. For the most part, this is human nature.

That said, I beg you to allow your children to make their own mistakes and pay the consequences. He or she will without a doubt become more responsible and remember to perform key tasks. For example, if he misses a game because he doesn't have a mouthguard, he'll surely remember to have it with him at the next game, or if he attends enough practices without water or gatorade, eventually he'll become thirsty enough and remember to pack a drink.

Now, please remind me to practice what I preach...

Kim

Congratulations USA Women's Soccer!

2011-07-18T15:41:00.002-04:00

In yesterday's World Cup finals, Team USA won 2nd place behind Japan. Wow.

Sure, the US ladies should have taken gold (in my opinion) because they beat Japan many times in the past. However, things worked out differently. And 2nd place in the world is still amazing.

Hang in there Team USA--you will return. Redemption is sweet!

Games Gone Wrong

2011-05-17T11:22:00.013-04:00

My twelve-year-old daughter played her last regular-season lacrosse game a couple of weeks ago. From the opposing team arriving late to the chit-chatting, unfocused players, I have some (many) complaints.

First, the opposing team went to the wrong field and arrived at the proper field over an hour late. If one team knew which field was the proper field, why didn't the other team know? I don't have an explanation, but waiting an hour was ridiculous. Coaches or team managers, please double check and confirm game times and locations prior to the game. Double please.

Next, the refs blew the whistle every two seconds to stop play in order to explain, in apparent detail, how to play the game properly. Yes, the rules are confusing, but the kids spend lots of time in practice learning right from wrong. Game time is game time. Refs, please get off your power trip and let the girls play the game --let the coaches coach.

Overall, the chit-chatting players appeared to be very focused on checking out the newest nail polish (or whatever they were looking at...), not on the ball. Coaches, pay attention to the players on the field and remind them to keep their minds on the game.

Parents, don't yell come on honey during a game. That simply doesn't make the cut in my book (unless the child is less than 10 years old). Would you say that to your son on the field? No way (at least not at age 12). You would (and should) encourage him to run hard, play strong defense, look for passes, etc., and you should do the same for your daughter. There simply are times when "honey" is appropriate and there are times when "honey" needs goes away. After the game, go ahead and say great job honey. Well, say it after he scores a goal or makes a nice pass, just not in the heat of a tense moment.

Is lack of focus a big deal? Yes. No matter what level of play, these girls signed up to play on a team so I expect some effort. I realize that on occasion things go wrong, refs don't show up, or a player has an "off" day. But many times these sort of things can be avoided.

Sorry if you disagree. I know there are plenty of focused, die-hard, athletic girls out there, in addition to many dedicated coaches and refs. Trust me, there is room for more...

Bubble Parents

2011-04-02T08:06:00.005-04:00

At a high school lacrosse game last week, one mom pointed out a "bubble parent". What the heck is a bubble parent? I was clueless... (It appears that I was a step behind on this term.)

Well, I've been a bubble parent in the past and didn't even know it. When a high school athlete plays on junior varsity and varsity, they are considered on the "bubble". So a "bubble parent" is the parent who usually ends up watching both junior varsity and varsity events consecutively, resulting in a really, really long evening.

My advice to all of you bubble parents out there:

Prepare to sit for four hours or longer.
Dress warm (if the event is outside).
Bring snacks or money to purchase snacks.
Bring a book to read during time outs or between games.
Enjoy the social time with other parents.

Bottom line if you are a bubble parent, it is a good thing that your child is playing on both junior varsity and varsity teams. Try to enjoy the success!

Equipment Overload

2011-02-28T19:54:00.012-05:00

Because swimming and hockey seasons are about to end and lacrosse season is facing off, I'm back to buying equipment....again.

Does the purchasing every end? Nope. There always seems to be pads, sticks, heads, blades, cleats, running shoes, helmets, goggles, or other necessities to buy. The list is endless.

Over the years I've changed my opinion on where to draw the line. I used to be against top-of-the-line equipment. But now I've changed my stance slightly. Here are a few guidelines based on my experiences:

Shoes/Cleats: Higher price doesn't actually mean better. I go for the best support and fit. You can often buy a shoe on sale (often last year's model) for less, and still get a decent shoe. My lovely daughter Breea is the queen of ankle sprains. For her I choose the best fit no matter what the cost. I'll do anything to prevent that child from rolling her ankle. I find that when Breea wears better fitting shoes, she runs faster and seems to injure her ankles less.
Mouth guards: My kids tend to repeatedly chew on their mouth guards. The protection is necessary, but for the most part, the inexpensive ones work. If it were my mouth, I would buy the heavier, more protective models. I value my teeth. But for my kids, I go with the version he or she is willing to wear, be it expensive or inexpensive, because I want any sort of protection for them. I know that in most cases when I'm not looking, those mouth guards are not in their mouths.
Protective pads: Within reason, expensive pads are beneficial in many cases. However, there is often a drawback--pricier pads are heftier/thicker models (in many cases), which sometimes restrict movement. Better protection might mean restricted physical play. My son Clark often chooses the lighter, less protective models, and he pays the price with injuries. When a puck hits his shins, the resulting bruises are not pretty.
Hockey/lacrosse sticks: With hockey sticks, higher priced sticks might be top of the line. Yet top-of-the-line sticks are often not the best sticks for inexperienced players. I've heard my husband scream after many games as he curses parents for buying fancy, do-it-all, high-end sticks for their beginner hockey player. It just doesn't work that way. Lower-end models are a good choice in many cases. On the contrary, a high-end, expensive lacrosse head is sometimes a good choice for a beginner player. It might not be completely necessary, but a high-end lacrosse head can help players of many levels better control the ball.

Needless to say, I try to research sports equipment and weigh the pros and cons of various models. I take into consideration my children's personalities and varying levels of play, then I attempt to make good decisions with each individual purchase.

There are times when pricey equipment is necessary, and there are times when I put my foot down and say no. That's just the way it is. If my kids don't like it, they can do their own research and present their case. Sometimes I win the battle. Other times I give in and spend a fortune...

Young athletes live and learn in the game. Do your best to guide your kids' purchases and eventually let them fly on their own.

Expect the Unexpected: Homeless Man...

2011-01-06T19:08:00.004-05:00

Yesterday a Columbus reporter randomly interviewed a homeless man, Ted Williams, on Interstate 71 in Columbus, Ohio. As it turned out, the guy has an amazing voice. The video was posted on YouTube and within a few hours the story took off. If you haven't heard the story by now, click HERE to see a clip on the Today Show.

This story is a true inspiration--anything can happen at any time. I have always believed in the saying expect the unexpected. None of us can know precisely what will happen in the future. There is always an amazing athlete out there who doesn't get a college athletic scholarship, an unknown athlete who ends up a star football player at a Division I University, or a small town basketball player with a recreational league background who gets drafted in the pros.

Parents, let's face it...good and bad things happen in youth sports at all times. Teach your children to keep reaching for the moon and to stay faithful to their dreams. Resilience is key.

On the flip side (because I can't keep my mouth shut), I hope and pray that Ted Williams (the homeless man) stays away from drugs and alcohol. Williams' own mother mentioned on Inside Edition (1/6/11) she feels that her son is weak and she is concerned about his ability to stay on a good path. Fingers crossed that this story continues with a fairytale ending.

As parents, please use good judgment and emotionally support your children...through the good and the bad, the expected and the unexpected. Your child might want to be in the NBA, yet ends up satisfied playing on the local rec team. So be it. Or, of course, he might end up in the NBA.

I wish Williams the best and I hope all your children's dreams come true.

Kim

Looking Back at 2010...

2010-12-31T19:07:00.004-05:00

As 2010 comes to a close, the economy is struggling, companies are laying off employees, kids are continuing to participate in youth sports, and colleges are still awarding athletic scholarships.

Looking back on the year, here are a few random observations in no particular order:

Parents are still having babies and secretly wondering if their new little one will play pro baseball one day.
There will always be crazy, overzealous, out-of-control sports parents.
Parents are insanely traveling with their children for youth sports events from the East coast to the West.
Almost the entire City of Cleveland is angry at Lebron James.
When one family pulls their child out of travel sports because they can no longer afford the costs, there's always another family ready to step up and pay for their less talented child to play in the game.
We all lose sight of reality of one time or another.
Stopping a determined young athlete is nearly impossible.
There are many grateful parents and kids in the world.
2011 is a new year with new opportunities.

We wish each and everyone of you a wonderful New Year!

Kim and Ed

Fans, You are Role Models (whether you like it or not)...

2010-11-26T15:58:00.002-05:00

Last night I attended a hockey game and was surrounded by quite a few crazy fans. First, I need to tell you that I'm fairly patient and don't mind the occasional crazy fan running through the stands leading a chant or beating on a drum just for fun. However, I'm definitely not happy with fans holding up a sign that says: You suck.

Sorry, but I draw the line when it comes to lack of respect. I have an impressionable twelve-year-old daughter who naturally gets caught up in the hoopla. One glance at the sign and Breea started yelling you suck right back at the fans. Not so good. Kids learn from what they see and hear. If they hear nasty language in public places, then they tend to think that's OK. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Another example of disrespect at last night's game was when the announcer introduced the opposing team's players. The fans again chanted you suck after every name. Even I, as an adult who realizes the difference between respect and disrespect, was offended by this behavior. This is just not nice. There are better ways to fend off the enemy.

What happened to the good old days of having wholesome (for lack of a better word) fun at the game? Where did the simple chant hey, hey, hey, goodbye... go? Or we will, we will, rock you...? We are all raising the next generation and our country's future adults. One day these kids will be in charge. Please, oh please, think before you act.

Ultimate Sports Parent Radio

2010-10-16T19:44:00.009-04:00

Last month I appeared on Ultimate Sports Parent Radio (www.youthsportspsychology.com): Helping Young Athletes Envision Who They Want to Be (click on Sept. 15, 2010 podcast or click here to listen). Hosts and youth sports experts Lisa Cohn and Dr. Patrick Cohn focus the show on the mental game.

Lisa and Dr. Cohn are the founders of The Ultimate Sports Parent (website) and Kids' Sports Psychology (a members-only website), which also center on the mental game. Both of these sites are terrific resources for sports parents and young athletes.

I feel like the mental aspect in youth sports is often overlooked. Many of us tend to get wrapped up in training and coaching and physical aspects in athletics. Yet the truth is that the mental game can often make or break an athlete.

If you have a few minutes, click to Lisa and Dr. Cohn's sites to learn more on this topic.

Disgusting Punishment for a 6-year-old Football Player

2010-09-13T18:15:00.004-04:00

A father punished a 6-year-old child for not paying attention during football practice. This makes me sick. He actually made the child run over a mile. Honestly, I couldn't believe it when I heard it.

You can read the article here. According to various articles, the child was forced to run approximately 1 mile. I'm certain that if the police felt strong enough to arrest the father, then this punishment was not appropriate.

Please remember that youth sports are simply youth sports. Kids, especially at age 6, should be having fun and learning to enjoy the game.

Kim

Bye, Bye, LeBron! Hello ______?

2010-07-22T12:05:00.000-04:00

You have to face it, Cleveland Cavalier fans, LeBron James is gone. Now what? You will persevere (at least I certainly hope you will).

I have a strong belief that excellence breeds excellence. Although the fact remains that LeBron is gone, there were, and still are, many other players that makeup the CAVS team.

Who were (are) they? My guess is that many of you don't know the names of the supporting players. Well, it's their turn to shine. King James is gone, so there is no longer a shadow.

This concept also applies to youth teams--there are always "stars" and supporting players. Terrific. Everyone has a role. And everyone will likely improve by playing with better players.

If your child is tired of being in the shadows of a star, please remind him or her to persevere. Teams change daily--players improve, players come and go, coaches come and go. Life goes on. Encourage your child to look towards the future because he or she might be tomorrow's star.

High-Level Youth Sports are Expensive...

2010-06-29T12:00:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately, most high-level youth sport programs have extraordinary costs. And this is often a disadvantage for young athletes who can't afford proper training.

Hockey, figure skating, lacrosse, soccer, dance, swimming, and other sports can cost anywhere from $500 per year to more than $10,000 per year, including travel. This is nuts and there's not a lot you can do to avoid it.

NHL blogger Alan Adams discusses this issue further in the following article: Brian Burke: Money, Parents Hinder Youth Development.

I'm a huge believer in free-form sports. You know what I mean--playing kick ball outside in the yard or meeting at the park for a pick-up soccer or basketball game. Yet at some point high-level coaching and training and organized competition is necessary for young athletes who desire to persevere and progress in a sport.

If you can't afford the costs of high-level programs, what should you do? Well, I only recommend pushing the financial limits only if your child desires to persevere. There are sponsors, scholarships, and plain good will out there. You'll have to talk to coaches, parents, local program directors to find a potential route to success.

Progressing in youth sports is not always an easy path on the pocketbook. If your child is determined, driven, talented, and bugging the hell out of you to participate in a sport, then I encourage you to search for ways to help your child succeed. Just do it!

Girls, please toughen up...

2010-06-03T07:31:00.007-04:00

Your twelve-year-old daughter runs across the field with her arms flapping and and swinging, holds up her lacrosse stick, and misses the ball. Yikes!

I'm fired up after seeing this scenario over and over again in a real-life youth lacrosse games. Perhaps I'm wrong, but as I see it, parents are babying their daughters too long.

Dads, I know you get out there and teach your sons to run, throw, and catch a ball at very young ages. But what about your daughters? Oh, my. Are you keeping those girls in the kitchen?

Your daughters are just as capable of learning athletic form and strategies as your sons. Even at young ages, there are travel teams in soccer, softball, and other sports that available for girls or boys. And I've seen young girls demonstrate just as much talent and good form as the boys. Go, girls!

Let's face it, many of us go easier on our daughters. There is no need for twelve-year-old girls to run around a field in a beehive like a bunch of preschoolers. Girls are not any more fragile than boys.

Please encourage your daughters to participate in sports with good form and with some strategy.

Sorry that I'm ranting, but I thought some of you could use a pep talk.

Kim

Against the Odds...

2010-04-29T23:45:00.007-04:00

As we all know, many athletes train hard from very young ages. Now and then I hear a story about an athlete who waits until his high school years to try a sport and manages to prevail with success. If you saw The Blind Side movie, you know precisely what I'm talking about.

To my surprise, I stumbled upon one of these intriguing stories last week that we can all learn from. Basically, an inexperienced high school tennis coach pulled together a group of inexperienced tennis players. Do you want to hear the result? Read the article here (scroll down to "Brookhaven").

This is a nice reminder that pure heart, determination, and effort can go a long way. And it is quite inspiring when a coach and all the team members have these traits. Nice!

Sports Injuries: Navigating Medical Care

2010-03-26T16:20:00.012-04:00

***Disclaimer*** I am not giving medical advice. I'm simply pointing out how a mom handled her daughter's injury situation. Please consult your physician for all formal medical advice.

My friend's daughter (Anne) fell and hit her toe on something. Within minutes, Anne's toe and foot were swollen. My friend (Michelle) took Anne to urgent care, and an x-ray revealed a broken bone in her toe and a possible broken growth plate. The doctor referred Anne to an orthopaedic physician for further analysis. Instead of taking Anne to see the orthopaedic physician, Michelle called her pediatrician who recommended seeing him first. The pediatrician reviewed the x-ray and declared that the toe was not broken. This was in direct contrast to the radiology report and the urgent-care doc's diagnosis.

Now what? Well, Michelle called me and asked what I would do--she knew I've dealt with at least 10 sports injuries with my own children, including approx. 4 broken ankles, 2 broken arms, an avulsion fracture in the hip, a broken collarbone, a high-ankle sprain, and many others. Again, I am not a medical expert. I am a mom that uses her best judgment, just like you.

First, I suggested that Michelle get another opinion since the 2 prior opinions contrasted each other. Next, I suggested that Michelle find an orthopaedic physician who specializes in pediatrics and in foot injuries or sports injuries. Why? Because she wanted the best possible person to read the x-ray and because she wanted clear parameters for treatment and for when-to-return-to-sports.

Michelle did exactly as I suggested. (Honestly, I'm sure it would have worked out if she hadn't taken my advice because Michelle has good judgment.) And she was please with the results. The orthopaedic physician (who specialized in pediatric sports injuries and in foot and ankle injuries) agreed with the urgent care doc--the toe was broken. He specifically told Anne to take a 2-week break from gymnastics class and from her volleyball league. He also told her to immobilize it with tape and walk normally because her pain and swelling at that point was minor. Then he asked her to return in 2 weeks for a re-check and to re-judge return-to-sports parameters. (I'm leaving out a few details here, but I think you can get the gist of it.)

At the 2-week check, a new x-ray revealed that the broken toe was healed. And the doctor cleared Anne to return to sports.

Medicine is an art and a science. It is not exact. You, the parent, usually navigates your child's medical care using your best judgment. When your child gets injured, there are often many choices and routes that are appropriate. I'd love to hear what choices you've made in the past and why the results were successful.

In the meanwhile, I hope your young athlete stays injury-free.

-Kim

Olympic Heartbreak

2010-02-24T21:33:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, Dutch speedskater Sven Kramer was disqualified in the 10,000 meter final. He should have won the gold. Unfortunately, Kramer's coach Gerard Kemers actually shouted instructions in error, resulting in the disqualification. You can read more about it here.

This is truly heartbreaking. But the reality is that mistakes and disqualifications happen at all levels of sports.

After seeing this at an Olympic event, kids might realize that it's not quite so bad when they or their coaches make a mistake. Here are a few examples of common mishaps in youth sports: Swimmers sometimes forget to finish with a 2-handed touch, football players catch a ball out-of-bounds, football coaches call the wrong play, baseball coaches give the wrong signal.

These types of things happen and life goes on. I commend Kramer for forgiving his coach and moving forward to his next event with class.

I've Hit My Limit!

2010-01-27T15:57:00.002-05:00

That's right, I've had enough. I usually don't mind driving kids to sport practices, but tonight was ridiculous.

Here's the driving scenario:

Home to point A.
Point A to point B.
Point B to point A.
Point A to point B.
Point B to point C.
Point C to home.
Home to point C.
Point C to home.

That makes EIGHT trips in one evening. EIGHT! My advice to you is don't do this. Just say no.

Now, you might be thinking that I signed the kids up for all of this so it's my fault. But that's not the case. When I signed the kids up, their schedules weren't a problem. Then the swim team changed practice from late evening to early evening. And the hockey team changed off-ice practice to a different rink. This change meant that the boys had to go to off-ice at one rink, followed by hockey practice at another rink fifteen minutes down the road. Crazy!

OK, in truth, I've survived the year thus far thanks to a carpool. However, that boy separated his shoulder so he's not going to practice for a month. My backup possibility got injured too--he broke his knee cap. (Look for an upcoming post on injuries...)

Could my daughter skip practice? Sure, but she's already missed several times because of her brother's practice.

The next time that my husband is unavailable and there's no car pool, I will say no to my children. The coaches will have to understand. Period.

Did I mention homework? Two tests and a paper? It's going to be a late night...

-Kim

Give Your Child the Gift of Lessons

2010-01-05T07:12:00.002-05:00

Ski season has arrived with a vengeance all over the country. Kids are itching to hit the slopes.

Unfortunately, parents are dropping their kids at the ski hill. Most of these kids have little or no prior experience and no clue how to ski or snowboard. They don't know how to turn, slow down, or stop.

Folks, this isn't sled riding. There are specific techniques and skills needed simply for the sake of safety. Your child could run into a tree or even another skier.

When my daughter was three, an out-of-control skier went speeding down the hill and flew right between my mom and my daughter. I saw this with my own eyes. Both were lucky to come away without injuries. However, my mom's ski pole did not survive the event. Yes, her ski pole was bent almost in half. Good thing it wasn't mom's knee.

Even if your child begs to skip the lessons, please don't give in. Remember that safety is first.

-Kim

Yikes!

2009-12-23T23:01:00.004-05:00

Believe it or not my niece and I (Kim) were on hockey skates for the first time earlier today. I've watched a thousand youth hockey games, yet I've never had those darn slippery skates on my own two feet.

Figure skates I can handle. I'm good at using those toe picks to keep me from falling. Hockey skates? There are no toes picks. The blades are smooth from front to back so I was sliding around in all sorts of directions. (Don't worry - my son took a few minutes to show me the ropes before I took my niece out on the ice.)

The next time you yell at your child for falling down during a hockey game, striking out at bat, or kicking a weak soccer pass, give it a try yourself - it's not always so easy. You might even get a good laugh at how untalented you really are. And I'll bet (or hope) you'll lighten up on your child.

During this holiday season, have some fun and try a new sport!

Happy Holidays!

Tiger Woods is Human...and so is Your Child

2009-12-14T19:21:00.013-05:00

With a car wreck and alleged affairs, Tiger's life has been turned upside down. I'm by no means a psychologist. I will not analyze Tiger's actions. However, a little speculation is fair game.

Tiger is a phenomenal athlete and he's human. His life exists on and off the golf course. He sleeps, he eats, and he brushes his teeth. He makes mistakes.

Just like your child, Tiger lives day-to-day life and makes choices (sometimes with a little help from others). There are many "normal" aspects to Tiger's life other than the perfect pedestal life we've seen for many years.

Too many parents expect perfection from their young athlete. Tiger Woods lived a life that we didn't see in the media. Parents need to realize that the media reports are not always reality. We all have limitations. We all make good and bad choices - it's inevitable.

I'm not saying that Tiger's alleged affairs are acceptable. But I am saying that they were his choices. He made those choices, got caught, and is facing consequences. So be it. They are his problems, not ours.

Your child is your problem. You are raising your child. Don't put your child on a pedestal. Teach your child right from wrong, the importance of going to school, getting good grades, and balancing life with sports.

I've seen parents with out-of-control expectations. You know...those parents who force their children to lift weights, play on multiple teams, and go for extra runs in addition to their team's agenda. And I've observed parents who repeatedly pull their child off to the side (to give advice) after the child strikes out or misses scoring a goal.

Whether your child is a talented athlete or not, don't expect perfection in athletics. Don't make life easy for him because you think he's the next Tiger Woods. Make sure your child does his homework, loads the dishwasher, cleans his room, and attends social events. This is true reality. Don't believe that Tiger didn't do these chores. You probably just weren't aware of it.

I'm disappointed in Tiger as a role model for young athletes. However, in many ways I'm glad that we all finally saw this side of Tiger. We can learn from it.

Thanksgiving Break?

2009-11-24T06:39:00.012-05:00

Perhaps you traveled to a youth soccer tournament or watched your child play in a local hockey game game on Thanksgiving morning. Your sister said that you're obsessed with sports and your mother's angry you didn't come home for the holiday.

Others aside, I hope you found ways to celebrate the holiday with your children and reminded them to be thankful - there is more to life than sports.

My family was in the "watching-a-youth-hockey-game" group. Yes, I admit it. We didn't have a traditional Thanksgiving. So how did we make it a memorable holiday? We approached it as an adventure:

-Drove halfway across the country on Wednesday. Yes, we were in a car instead of an airplane. (Did you know that a fourteen-year-old boy can talk for more than 14 hours and still have a voice?)

-Relaxed most of Thanksgiving day in a hotel suite. That's right - some rare R&R.

-Ate at Lonestar. The coach asked the team to hold off until Friday for a traditional Thanksgiving meal. The kids didn't mind, but they're looking forward to a belated turkey dinner next week.

-Watched a USHL hockey game - Sioux Falls vs. Sioux City (11/26/09). Our son Clark was in the lineup so his brother and sister saw where plays hockey. Here are a few pictures from the game.

Breea, Anna (family friend), and Cameron

Clark is on the left (#6)

Clark

We missed our relatives this year, but this was surely a Thanksgiving adventure we'll never forget. I'm especially thankful for good health, family, jobs, and that our children were together for the holiday. I'm also thankful that Cameron's hockey coach and Breea's swim coach allowed the kids to take a few days off.

Please wish us luck on our loooong drive home. (Does anyone know where I can buy earplugs?)

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Rough Play vs. ROUGH Play

2009-11-09T06:16:00.004-05:00

Last week New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert clearly went too far with her rough play during a soccer game.

Yanking a ponytail is not appropriate. This is appalling! What about blatant punching or kicking? Ridiculous.

Please, please, please teach your child the importance of good sportsmanship.

Retired Police Lieutenant Dave Swords: Out-of-Control Sports Parents

2009-10-12T20:46:00.011-04:00

After recently observing an irate sports parent, I realized how easily a situation could turn from a heated moment to a truly dangerous event. When does a situation warrant calling 911? Retired Police Lieutenant Dave Swords has agreed to give us some tips and guidelines for handling these out-of-control parents.

Q: When a sports parent is yelling and screaming inappropriately, should other parents step in and try to calm the person?

A: The problem of parents getting too involved in their kid’s sporting events has been an issue as long as organized sports have been around. Most of the time, when it becomes a problem, coaches or other parents can take care of the matter. However, there are those times when things get really out of hand.

I would say that when your reaction moves from one of annoyance to one of fear, it may be time to get out that cell phone.

Q: What are the signs that a parent is over-the-edge and poses a threat to others?

A: Every parent who has had a child in sports can probably recall a time when a parent began to berate the child from the sidelines or took it upon themselves to coach the coach. But if the person begins to make threats or disrupt the game (perhaps by barging onto the field or court), then things have moved to a different level. Often, other parents or coaches will try to intercede and regain control of the situation. But if this fails or results in threats of violence, it's time to call the police.

Q: What are the guidelines for when it's appropriate to call 911?

A: First of all, 911 should be reserved for emergencies or, as in these cases, potential emergencies. I think that as long you feel compelled to call the police in the types of situations we are thinking of today, a call to 911 is absolutely appropriate. Most people don’t have their police department’s non-emergency number committed to memory, and no one at the PD would criticize you for using 911 in this situation.

Q: When in doubt, is it better to call 911 before a situation erupts to a dangerous level?

A: Absolutely. No one wants to have to call the police on another parent, especially someone you may know, but when one thinks of the possibilities for violence, a call to the law can be a prudent move to make.

I would also add that if the problem parent leaves before the police are called but does so in a way that makes you think they could come back looking for trouble, such as an open threat to do just that, or more subtle comments that lead you to believe it may not be over, go ahead and make that call - just let the police know what is going on and ask if they could send a car to drive by on occasion until the game is over. If you get a dispatcher who tries to tell you that is not possible, or refuses to do so, ask to speak to the officer in charge.

In closing, let me repeat what I said in response to the first question. When the situation moves from annoyance to fear, it may be time to call the police. Just use your common sense and realize that while you hate to call the police because of what might happen, that is better than letting it escalate to a level where someone could get hurt. Grandma was right when she told us, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

*Dave generously offered to answer any further questions. Feel free to post in the "Comments." He will check in periodically throughout the month of October.

How a Sports Mom Gets Ready for a Weekend on the Road

2009-10-02T21:16:00.004-04:00

As I get ready to hit the road for several out-of-state hockey games, I still find the preparation daunting after approximately ten years of traveling for youth sports. Instead of giving you advice, I'll simply share with you my day:

Morning:

Took day off work (because there was too much to get ready for the weekend).
Got kids off to school.
Snuck out for quick breakfast with husband (because we won't have any time together on the weekend).
Printed weekend swimming schedule for husband.
Took care of a few business matters.

Afternoon:

Went to Target for weekend snacks and a few extras (since I haven't been to a store in ages).
Returned library books.
Mailed bills and package at post office.
Deposited money at bank for son (who lives in South Dakota).
Called husband to remind him to buy internet package so we can watch oldest son's game on tv tonight.
Made calls to change plans for trip in two weeks. (Thankful that the grandparents will be available to help us.)
Bought food at grocery store for weekend.

Evening:

Bought cord at Best Buy to connect computer to tv so we could watch son's game via internet. (This was trickier than I anticipated - I bought the wrong cord. After an hour or two of searching, I found a cord which was already attached to our DVD player and worked with my computer too. I'm not technology savvy!)
Quickly ate delicious dinner. (Thank goodness husband is a good cook and doesn't mind helping out in that area once in a while.)
Talked with another parent to confirm carpooling for the weekend.
Printed map for weekend trip.
Packed snacks for weekend.
Packed medications for weekend. (Yes, I have a cough and cold.)
Attempted to sit and watch son's game on tv.
Told son to pack hockey equipment.
Regretted that I didn't squeeze in a workout.
Planned last minute preparations for packing in the morning.

All in all, I'm relieved that I took the day off work. Now, off for the weekend...

-Kim

Transitioning to a New Team

2009-09-02T14:54:00.007-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, my son, Clark Cristofoli, moved from Ohio to South Dakota. Clark's a junior in high school and will be playing for the Sioux Falls Stampede hockey team in the USHL (United States Hockey League) this season. Upon arriving in Sioux Falls, I realized how daunting the transition to a new team can be. Sure, the move alone was daunting, but the new team was Clark's biggest concern. And I completely forgot to keep these details in mind as we treked across the country.

So...my advice comes in hindsight of my mistakes. Some kids transition easily to a new team and others worry and struggle. You, as the parent, can and should help smooth your child's transition. Here are a few tips:

Talk with the coach before the first practice. If you're aware of your child's fears or anxiety ahead of time, tell the coach so he can help your child with the transition.
Encourage low expectations. Even though your child might be quite skilled at a sport, there's always another athlete who's more skilled.
Encourage preseason physical activity. Your child should run, walk, swim, strength train, or any type of appropriate activity to help him get in shape. This does not have to be organized training - a simple game of ghosts in the graveyard, hide and seek, or tag will do. Any type of exercise helps build and condition muscles. Your child will in turn arrive at the first practice in decent shape and that will likely result in a more confident athlete.
Carpool to the first practice. If there's a player who lives nearby, arrange a carpool. When your child arrives at practice with another team member, she'll take comfort in knowing someone ahead of time.
Throw a preseason party. This can be as simple as a potluck dinner at a park. If you arrange for the team, parents, and coaches to meet in a social setting before the first practice, kids will be more relaxed and they will have the comfort of their parents nearby. The bonus is that you'll get to know the coaches better too!

The good news is that kids are resilient - if you make mistakes, you can always adjust your approach and help your child.

What steps have you taken to help your child's transition to a new team?

-Kim

Early Knee Repair Benefits Youth Athletes

2009-07-29T22:05:00.010-04:00

A new study confirms benefits to surgically repairing ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) knee injuries within twelve weeks for athletes aged fourteen and under. The study was authored by Theodore Ganley, M.D., director of sports medicine for The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, and colleagues.

The research also revealed that treatments delayed more than twelve weeks had significant risks, including a four-fold increase in irreparable medial meniscus tears, an eleven-fold increase in lateral compartment chondral injuries, a three-fold increase in patellotrochlear injuries, and other issues.

More detailed information is available in the AOSSM press release.

I've spent some time co-writing with Dr. Ganley over the last six months and I'm here to tell you that he's truly a brilliant, top-notch expert in pediatric sports medicine. That said, I can verify that he (and I) strongly encourage injury prevention efforts.

For optimal health, please take steps to help your child prevent injuries--it's in your child's best interest. Knee injuries are serious and can often be prevented. The American Orthopaedic Society for Sports Medicine (AOSSM) is a fantastic online resource. The web site includes sports tips, TEAM exercises, an Athletic Health Handbook, and other information under the "Resources" tab. Check it out and continue to responsibly guide your child athlete.

Time for a Vacation

2009-07-05T20:42:00.004-04:00

Sports, sports, and more sports. Finding time for a vacation is almost impossible. You run from one game to the next, a private lesson, a camp, and then a skills clinic. How could you possibly leave town?

Take the time. Make the time. Go on a vacation and have some fun.

I know...Suzie can't miss her gymnastics practice or Joey will get cut from his football team if your family heads out of town. Unfortunately, it's inevitable that one of you or your children will have to miss something.

Do your best to choose a good time and stick to it. Get away and relax. Kids, just like you, need a break once in a while. You know the feeling--*awe*. When you're away, you don't worry about your day-to-day routine. Upon your return, you're refreshed and ready to jump back into your life with renewed energy. Kids feel the same way.

When you're deciding on the best time to get away, be sure to consider the following:

Don't leave at the beginning of the season. Kids are just starting to get in shape. If your child misses the gradual steps towards getting in shape, he risks injury by working out too hard upon his return.
Try not to leave during important tryouts. Tryouts are important for children and coaches. Your child will feel more comfortable and true part of the team if he earns a spot just like everyone else.
Try not to leave for a long period of time during season. You signed your child up for a team and he's committed. If it's possible to wait until the season ends, wait.
Let your child help you choose a time. Your child might resist the idea of leaving town because of love of the game, fear of being punished by a coach upon return, or simply fear of the unknown. By involving her with the decision making, she might feel more comfortable with the ultimate decision.

Remember to enjoy your time away!

Youth Coaches: Please Stand While Coaching!

2009-06-15T18:37:00.011-04:00

I've recently noticed a few coaches sitting while coaching youth sports. I completely disagree with this method. Instead of explaining the negatives, I share with you here a few reasons why I encourage coaches to stand:

1) A coach who stands appears enthusiastic. Enthusiasm breeds enthusiasm. Trust me, it can be catching. Part of being a coach is having enthusiasm for the game.

2) It's easier to motivate players while standing. Have you ever seen a hockey coach (at any level) sit on the bench while coaching? How about an NBA or NFL coach? No way! Sure, your young child is not a pro player, but I certainly hope that if he's part of a team at any age, you would want him to be motivated in some manner.

3) Standing actually helps a coach to "coach" the kids. Yes, I mean "coach" the kids--talk to them, explain what they're doing right or wrong or what they should be doing. This helps kids to learn and improve.

I beg you to encourage your child's coach to stand. Trust me. I strongly believe it's in your child's best interest. If you disagree with this post, please let me know - I'd love to hear from you.

Kim

The "Supersize" Reward...

2009-05-14T10:17:00.005-04:00

Score a goal and you'll get a reward... I'm certain that most of you have offered a reward to your child or heard another parent offer a reward for scoring goals. In my opinion, this method of motivation can be helpful.

Keep in mind that rewarding a child with expensive gifts or dishing or large amounts of money is certainly not what I'm talking about. What I'm suggesting is just offering a little motivation--sort of like paying a child an allowance for completing chores. For scoring goals, assisting on a goal, or efforts to make good passes, you can offer fun rewards (and not neccessarily monetary) such as the following:

ice cream after the game
pizza celebration
afternoon at the zoo
movie rental
time at the park with dad

Earlier this week, I heard a parent offer her daughter an order of french fries if she worked hard and scored a goal in the soccer game. Well, the player scored two goals so her mom made that a "supersize" order of fries. Simple, yet fun!

Be creative. Look for ways to motivate your child in sports, just like you motivate him to do homework or to participate in other activities. Ultimately, you want a well-rounded child, and if that takes a little motivation with rewards, so be it.

-Kim

Remember the Aches and Pains

2009-04-17T06:34:00.003-04:00

While we're cheering and encouraging our kids to work hard in their sport, we tend to forget about the aches and pains and wear and tear on their young bodies.

I went almost two weeks without any intense exercise. And then I decided the other day to jump into a kick-boxing class. Ouch! I'm paying the price with those ultra-sore muscles. You know--the kind that make you cringe evey time you walk up or down the stairs. Since I've been complaining about it, I began to empathize with my kids and their aches and pains.

Most kids are in school all day, participate in sports practices after school, and sometimes play outside, too. Think of the physical toll on their bodies the next time they're exhausted and complaining of sore muscles. It might be annoying to hear them whine, but if you get out there and workout, you'll get a real good taste of how kids feel.

Keep this in mind the next time your child complains of sore muscles and be sure to have a little compassion!

That Team Won't Win...

2009-03-15T09:18:00.003-04:00

I said that their team wouldn't win, or even couldn't win. And then...they won! Even if the odds are against a team, any team has the potential to win. Parents, (including me), should remember that.

My son's hockey team played in a regional playoff tournament this weekend. His team is average so I truly didn't think they would qualify for the final round. Of course, they qualified for the final round. That being said, I'm now rooting for his team to win in the final round and hoping they move on to nationals.

The next time that you get frustrated with your child's team, keep in mind that any team has the potential to win. Even teams that have been losing game after game have the ability turn around and surprise you by pulling together, working hard, improving their skills, changing their attitudes, or simply doing whatever it takes to change their luck.

For the sake of your child...stay positive!

-Kim

The Secret of Sport Pyschology

2009-02-05T17:47:00.004-05:00

Is there a secret to sport physchology? According to Jim Thompson, founder of The Positive Coaching Alliance, he has found the secret:

"Focus on what you can control and block out the rest."

I found this quote in Thompson's new book, Positive Sports Parenting: How "Second-Goal" Parents Raise Winners in Life Through Sports. He explains that athletes can control some things and not others. In my opinion, Thompson would like sports parents to understand this secret to help guide their children appropriately in sports.

Parents shouldn't yell and scream if their child loses a game. Why not? A child can not control a win or loss. A child can control their effort, their responses, and other factors. My tip for today is to encourage your child athlete to focus on controllable elements.

Good luck!

-Kim

Learning to Love Youth Sports...

2009-01-18T22:09:00.005-05:00

Is it possible--do some sports parents hate youth sports? Are there really parents out there with no desire to watch a youth baseball, basketball, or soccer game? Ouch!

Yes, it's possible that a parent might not enjoy watching a youth sports game, but I firmly believe that everyone can learn to enjoy watching their own child play a sport. The following tips are ways to help you ignite an interest in a sport:

Watch for improvement. Seeing your daughter swim a lap two seconds faster than her last race can add some excitement to those quick races.
Learn the game. If you learn the rules of a game, you'll have a better understanding and know what to look for when you're watching.
Try the sport. That's right...if you actually get out in the yard and throw the football with ten of the neighborhood kids, you might feel the excitement and understand the thrill of success when you're actually playing the game.
Join in the hype. Many parents get pumped up and excited when watching a youth sports game. Even if you're not thrilled because you don't have the same passion as your child, fake it. Passion can be catchy if you give it a try.

Go team!

Signs of Passion...

2008-12-19T06:29:00.002-05:00

The holidays are here and you're hoping for some time away from youth sports. Your child, on the other hand, can't wait for the break from school so he can spend more time playing soccer and basketball...

Don't be distressed. Desire to play the game is passion. You should want your child to play the sport of his choice because it's fun for him. You might be passionate about your child's sports, but it's wonderful to see that passion in a child.

Here are a few scenarios that demonstrate signs of passion for a sport:

Your daughter keeps bugging you to head to the gym even after you've told her "no."
Your son asks you if she can sign up for a basketball camp over winter break.
After playing in a hockey game, your son asks if he can stay and shoot more pucks.
The whole neighborhood is busy getting ready for the holidays, and suddenly, you notice twenty-five kids playing football in your backyard.
Your son is outside playing soccer with your dog.
You get up at 5:00 am for a youth hockey game and magically, your daughter jumps out of bed to get ready for the early morning game. (Why doesn't she do that for school?)
You're dreading another youth game, but your son's enthusiasm brings you joy.
You have plans to attend a holiday part, but your daughter begs you to attend her basketball game instead of the party.
Your son begs you to leave early for his baseball practice. (He doesn't want to be late.)
It's Christmas morning and the whole family is opening gifts--your daughter asks what time the rink opens for skating.

I love to see these signs of passion. What signs have you seen in your child?

Accelerate Radio

2008-11-26T22:31:00.002-05:00

Accelerate Radio airs live on Mondays from 7:30-8:30 p.m. This Rochester, NY based radio program is aimed at educating youth athletes.

I was pleased to join the "Managing Your Time" program last Monday as a guest. Along with several guests, I discussed various time management tips to help athletes improve how they balance athletics with academics and other commitments.

Go to Accelerate Radio and click on the Nov. 24th archive to listen. Many thanks to Brian Guck for including me in the program.

-Kim

Maksymum Hockey Radio

2008-11-15T16:14:00.002-05:00

I will be appearing live on Maksymum Hockey Radio this Sunday, November 16 at 10:25 a.m. EST. The topic of the show is "Choices in Hockey and How to Be Prepared for Them."

In Rochester, NY, you can listen on Sports Radio 1280 WHTK-AM. Or you can listen live on the internet (or on an archive after the show is aired) at http://www.maksymum.com/radio_show/. (I will appear on the 2nd half of the one hour show.)

Hope you enjoy the program!

-Kim

Sports Parents Need Help...

2008-11-12T19:09:00.002-05:00

What do grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends have in common? They are awesome helpers for sports parents!

You know...the time you have to be at three youth games in three different cities. Sometimes it's not possible to be in three places at once. You don't want to ask others to help you, but you might not have a choice.

With the holidays upcoming, remember this year to give a little gift to those who you appreciate because their help is wonderful and you are probably extremely grateful.

Pre-Game for Parents

2008-10-22T21:33:00.003-04:00

What do you do with that extra thirty or sixty minutes while your child is warming up with his team?

I, (Kim), prefer to read a book, write on my laptop, or watch the warmups. Ed, on the other hand, almost always watches warm-ups. With our differing opinions on this topic, we thought it would be fun to take a poll. You can choose one answer or several in the poll posted above.

For those of you who enjoying reading novels, Michael Connelly's The Brass Verdict was just released. If you see me at the rink in the near future, that's what I'll be reading. I was lucky enough to get my copy signed earlier this week by Michael himself! (If any Michael Connelly fans or writers are reading this post, you can hear me ask Michael a question on a Podcast taped earlier today. I'm the "Kim from Ohio" caller.)

Post a comment and tell us how you prefer to spend your time while you're waiting for your child's game to start.

Breaking News...

2008-10-15T21:10:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, we learned that our son Clark was drafted by the Sioux Falls Stampedes in the USHL (Junior A hockey). As soon as we learn a few more details, we'll post what this means...

Weekend Observations

2008-10-06T07:59:00.002-04:00

From beautiful lush-green soccer fields to sometimes yucky hockey rinks, we see a lot of different facilities for youth sports. Last weekend we were in a small rural town, and driving through we observed the following:

football field: adequate
soccer field: adequate
baseball field: GORGEOUS

What do these observations mean? Let us know your opinion by posting a comment.

Sports Parents: Teach Your Children to be Flexible

2008-09-22T09:13:00.002-04:00

Coaches are tough on youth athletes these days--they cut kids from teams, sit players for not playing well, and have extremely high expectations for their players. So....what should you do when your child is moved from his favorite position as a forward to defense?

It's in your child's best interest to teach him to go with the flow. Why?

He might learn to love his new position.
He might be better or more skilled at his new position.
The coach might realize that his original position was a better choice.
The coach might gain respect for a player who doesn't complain.

Look for the positives and try to make the best out of these situations!

-Kim

Youth Sports: How Much is TOO Much?

2008-09-09T22:34:00.005-04:00

The end of summer has brought the start of school, religion class, hockey, soccer, cross country, and a side of choir and girl scout meetings for our children. How much is too much?

We cut back on the sports when:

Homework isn't getting done.
Extra sleep is during studyhall.
Dinner is being eaten in the car daily.
Grades are going down.

Please post a comment and share any and all reasons why you might restrict your child's participation in sports.

Learning Responsibility...

2008-09-03T11:37:00.002-04:00

Last night our daughter had twenty minutes to get herself ready for soccer practice. It wasn't enough time...

Although she managed to get herself dressed, she was unable to find her soccer ball and her cleats. Per her coaches' instructions, I left the responsibility to her, while I sat in the car and waited, and waited, and waited.

Needless to say, she never found the proper ball and was late for practice. Did she learn her lesson?

YES! After soccer practice, she finished her homework, packed her book bag, got her clothes out for the morning, and left for school on time this morning. Hooray!

-Kim

Olympic Sacrifices

2008-08-20T19:36:00.002-04:00

Becoming an elite or Olympic athlete takes sacrifices. For young athletes, how much is too much? Check out my guest blog post on this topic at The Positive Coaching Alliance (8/5/08).

Hope you're enjoying the Olympics this month!

-Kim

Dealing with Youth Sports Injuries...

2008-07-21T06:45:00.005-04:00

When raising your children, you will deal with bumps and bruises at some point. When your child plays organized sports, you might deal with more bumps and bruises, and perhaps, broken bones or stitches. It seems to be a trend.

Well, we never "expect" our children to get injured, but we were really thrown for a loop last week when the Orthopedic cleared our daughter at 4:00 from a broken finger injury, and then at 7:00 she broke her ankle.

Let's back up--our daughter decided last month that she wanted to join the swim team for the first time. We thought this was a good idea because she tends to sprain her ankes alot. We thought swimming might be a good sport for her to stay injury-free. Well, in her second race at her first swim meet, she went crooked and her hand hit the lane marker. We waited several days before we took her for an x-ray. Sure enough, she had broken a growth plate in her finger.

The finger injury healed quickly. Three weeks later she was cleared from the injury. That night, she joined a friend at a recreational gymnastics class, (three hours after returning home from her doctor's appointment). While walking across a mat, she twisted her ankle. Yes, she broke her ankle. Bummer!

As sports parent, we take it all in stride.

Emily Wyffels: Former Cornell University Soccer Player

2008-06-18T08:26:00.005-04:00

Emily Wyffels is a former member of the Women's Cornell University Soccer Team. Currently, Emily is a Communications Associate for the Positive Coaching Alliance based at Stanford University.

Last week, our nine-year-old daughter was invited to play on a travel soccer team. I had one huge concern - there was only one coach for the team. When my older children played on travel soccer teams, they had a coach and an assistant coach.

Knowing that Emily had played college soccer, I asked her to share her youth soccer experience with me. Here's what Emily had to say: (Posted with her permission.)

Thanks for thinking of me regarding your soccer question.

U10’s was about the time I started playing travel soccer, too. I first started as the only girl on a boy’s travel team because our town was so small and no one was really all that interested in soccer. In one of our league games, we played the only girls travel team the area. I ended up getting recruited to play for that team, and subsequently, played with the same team for eight years.

Granted, I grew up in a very rural area in Illinois, so my parents had to start driving fifty miles one way so I could continue playing with this team. Under those circumstances, there were not a lot of coaches in the area who were coaching travel soccer, let alone girls, so I had only one coach to start off with. He was the father of one of the girls on the team and did a great job of being very fair and consistent with all the players, and didn’t show favoritism towards his own daughter. He also had a great reputation as the club president, and it was always known that he had the best interest of the club and our team in mind at all times.

As we progressed through the years, we eventually had a few parents volunteer to assist, but they served more as the adult presence when our coach couldn’t be there for games.

It seems like just yesterday I was playing club and my parents were there learning about the whole process right along with me.

Thanks for sharing, Emily! It's helpful to hear what's worked for others.

-Kim

Sports Parenting: General Observations

2008-06-09T07:28:00.002-04:00

We had a fairly easy weekend. Since we weren't racing around from one place to another, (like we usually do), I enjoyed watching several youth lacrosse games and observed some interesting sports parents. I'd like to share some general observations, along with a review of our weekend:

Friday:

Game one of the Ohio Cup Lacrosse Tournament (sixth graders).
Thirty minute drive to tournament.
Friday rush hour in Columbus.
Two team members arrived twenty minutes before start of game. (Most of the team arrived at least one hour early.)
Approximately 100 degrees. (Yuck!)
Kids showed up ready to play hard.
Player with very little playing time scored goal. Hooray! (Credit the team for great teamwork--the kids trusted their weaker teammate and passed the ball.)
Ref without a doubt was calling the game with a preference for the local team. (That's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.)
Our team won.

Saturday:

Games two, three, and four of the Ohio Cup tournament.
We arrived at fields at seven a.m.
Game two was against a very strong all-star team. We lost.
Game three was against a team that won in over-time. This team got no break between that game and playing us. Not fair. We won.
Game four was against the same team that we beat in game one. This was our third game of the day and their second game of the day. Again, this was unfair. (Kids who played three games will be more tired that kids who played two games.) We lost.
Ref got angry at parent. The parent backed off immediately, but the ref dug a little farther--he kept asking if the parent really understood that he had to stop yelling. How many times should the parent have to agree?
Husband took oldest child to play in evening pond-hockey game.
Child decided to play goalie, (he has never played goalie in his life), because the real goalie forgot to bring his skates. The entire team had a lot of fun cheering on their rookie goalie!

Sunday:

No games.
Took our middle child to lacrosse camp.
Drove two hours to Akron for nephew's graduation party.
One parent arrived late due to child's all-star-team baseball practice.
One parent commented that she doesn't allow sports for her children on Sundays--it's her day off.
One parent came alone because her son and husband were playing in a golf tournament.
One parent made his daughter run the fields (next to the party) as punishment for not working hard in the child's last soccer game. (Ridiculous.)
Drove two hours home.

This was a fairly easy and fun weekend. Thought you might enjoy the observations. There's always something interesting happening in the world of youth sports!

-Kim

Missing a Practice or Game...

2008-05-15T05:57:00.003-04:00

The other night our daughter had a soccer practice with me, (Kim), as the coach, our son had a lacrosse practice, and our oldest son had a lacrosse game. In the scheme of things, this was a fairly simple night--each child had only one place to be and only one of us was coaching. (There have been nights that both of us had to coach and the children had multiple activities, such as Brownies, Religion Class, and two sports practices.)

The problem was that I don't often watch our oldest son's lacrosse games because I'm coaching another sport or driving the other two kids to practices. So...this week I was determined to watch his game.

After a long day of worrying about how I was going to get each child where he or she needed to be, I managed to drop my daughter at a teammate's house an hour before her soccer practice. I told my middle child that he had to ride his bike to lacrosse practice and that I would pick him and his bike up at the end of his practice. (It is possible for him to ride his bike two miles to practice, but we have to be careful in case of rain.) Last, I drove across town in rush hour and managed to watch our oldest son's game. Hooray!

In this case, it was me who missed coaching; however, a co-coach covered for me. Each day I juggle and figure out how I can get each of my children to their activities. I do my best, but sometimes one of us has to miss an activity, especially when Ed is out of town.

This is youth sports, and I'm human. Let's face it--it might be difficult, but sometimes we have to just say "no."

-Kim

Are You Over-scheduled?

2008-05-05T09:15:00.004-04:00

We are over-scheduled sports parents. I recommend taking a deep breath before reading my schedule from last weekend:

Friday:

Husband and Child #1 drove to Toledo for hockey camp through Sunday.
Missed Child #1's lacrosse game because Child #1 was in Toledo.

Saturday morning:

Child #2 was picked up by friend's parents for weekend lacrosse tournament in Cincinnati.
Child #3 played in local soccer game and I coached (in pouring down rain).

Saturday late morning:

Child #3 and I drove to Cincinnati (two hours) for Child #2's lacrosse tournament. (Due to congestion in tournament parking lot, we missed Child #2's first game of the day.)

Saturday afternoon:

Child #3 and I watched two of Child #2's lacrosse games.

Saturday evening:

Child #2, Child #3, and I met relatives for quick dinner and to discuss possible speaking engagement.
Child #2 went home with my sister-in-law for the night.
Child #3 and I drove back to Columbus (two hours).

Sunday morning:

Sister-in-law drove Child #2 to lacrosse tournament (three more games).
Child #3 and I drove to Akron (two hours) for my sister's baby shower.

Sunday afternoon:

Friends drove Child #2 back to Columbus (two hours).
Husband sent Child #1 to Akron (two hours) with friends so I could pick him up and drive him back to Columbus.
Husband drove somewhere in Ohio for work. (Yes, we have jobs to earn money.)
Child #3 and I left Baby Shower and picked up Child #1 at friend's house in Akron.

Sunday evening:

Child #1, Child #3, and I drove home to Columbus (two hours).
I picked up Child #2 at friend's house.

Sound familiar? Are you confused? I'm confused, but this is typical for most sports-parents. Do you agree?

-Kim

Your Child's Passion...

2008-04-25T06:32:00.004-04:00

Passion. There's nothing better as coaches and as sports parents than observing a child's passion towards a sport. When your child is watching a game live or on tv, or playing in a game, do you ever notice a sparkle in his eyes?

Our middle child is on a newly formed travel-lacrosse team. He played lacrosse for the last couple of years on a recreational team. We weren't too excited for our son to play travel lacrosse because his schedule is quite full.

Low and behold, we were wrong! This travel team has been fabulous. Our son's improvement in the game has been amazing - we see a sparkle in his eye every time he plays, and his confidence and self esteem have improved significantly.

We love to see a child's passion, excitement, interest, desire, or any form of love for the game. Isn't that what you want to see from your child? Have you seen your child's passion for a sport? Please share your stories with us!

Having Fun, Rain or Shine!

2008-03-28T07:31:00.005-04:00

Spring is here! Time for baseball, soccer, lacrosse, and many other youth sports. But it's rainy and cold. Do you really want to watch your child participate in sports outside in the rain and cold? Do you dread watching youth sports games when you're freezing and wet?

Use the following tips to help you and your child make the best of nasty weather conditions:

Encourage your child to have fun in the rain and mud. Children learn from adults. If you let your child know that it's ok to have fun and get wet and dirty, he will be more comfortable and be more likely to enjoy the bad weather conditions.
Bring a survival bag packed with warm clothes and a blanket.
Make hot chocolate. Having hot chocolate ready on the sidelines is a little incentive for your child to enjoy the poor weather conditions. Plus, it will help to warm your child up.
Go out and watch the game from the sidelines, not from your car. If you tell your child that it's ok to get wet and dirty, he will be more likely to believe you if he sees you getting drenched by the rain too.
Cheer for your child's team. Rain or sun, you can still cheer for your child's team, and your child will enjoy the support.

Do you have any tips for surviving bad weather? We would love to hear from you. Please post comments and share your tips or fun stories of survival!

Sports Parenting Reminder: Cheer for ALL Team Members

2008-03-02T18:43:00.003-05:00

Today, I was at a youth soccer game. While sitting next to a couple of enthusiastic parents, I noticed that their cheering and yelling (encouraging words) were genuine. These parents were cheering for ALL team members, not only their daughter.

So many sports parents yell AT their child and forget about the actual support all children need. Isn't it our job to support and encourage our children? Don't we all want to help our children as much as possible? Isn't it best to support all children on a team?

Kids love to hear the following phrases:

Great pass!
Nice stop!
Good team work!
Way to work hard!
You can do it!
Awesome move!

The next time your child or another child on the team is having a bad day during a game, try yelling or cheering some words of encouragement. You might be surprised by the results!

I was thrilled to hear this type of encouragement from parents. Sometimes we can all use a reminder.

Kim

The Positive Coaching Alliance

2008-02-15T07:09:00.004-05:00

The Positive Coaching Alliance (www.positivecoach.org) is a nonprofit organization based at the Stanford University Athletic Department. This national organization focuses on creating "a movement to transform the culture of youth sports so that all youth athletes have a positive, character-building experience."

PCA Trainers conduct workshops for youth sports coaches, parents, organizational leaders and athletes. PCA Champions are volunteers who are advocates for creating a positive youth culture in sports.

In addition to support from elite coaches and athletes from professional and olympic sports, PCA has partners, trainers, workshop attendees, National Advisory Board members and thousands of individuals, foundations and corporations leading their movement.

We are thrilled to be PCA Champions and encourage you to make positive choices when guiding your children in youth sports.

Kim & Ed

Please Buy: THE LIAR'S DIARY

2008-01-29T06:58:00.000-05:00

Today, over 300 bloggers, including bestsellers, Emmy winners, movie makers, and publishing houses have come together to talk about THE LIAR'S DIARY by Patry Francis.

In support of Author Patry Francis, recently diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and unable to promote her book, we are urging you to purchase her newly released book THE LIAR'S DIARY in paperback.

Please feel free to read Patry's blog and her blog post about her cancer.

Here are the publisher's words:

Answering the question of what is more powerful—family or friendship? this debut novel unforgettably shows how far one woman would go to protect either.

They couldn’t be more different, but they form a friendship that will alter both their fates. When Ali Mather blows into town, breaking all the rules and breaking hearts (despite the fact that she is pushing forty), she also makes a mark on an unlikely family. Almost against her will, Jeanne Cross feels drawn to this strangely vibrant woman, a fascination that begins to infect Jeanne’s “perfect” husband as well as their teenaged son.

At the heart of the friendship between Ali and Jeanne are deep-seated emotional needs, vulnerabilities they have each been recording in their diaries. Ali also senses another kind of vulnerability; she believes someone has been entering her house when she is not at home—and not with the usual intentions. What this burglar wants is nothing less than a piece of Ali’s soul.
When a murderer strikes and Jeanne’s son is arrested, we learn that the key to the crime lies in the diaries of two very different women . . . but only one of them is telling the truth. A chilling tour of troubled minds, The Liar’s Diary signals the launch of an immensely talented new novelist who knows just how to keep her readers guessing.

Click on any of the following links to purchase THE LIAR'S DIARY:

Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Powell's
Penguin to save 15% (after you add the book to your cart, just enter the word PATRY in the coupon code field and click ‘update cart’ to activate the discount).

Thank you for your support.

Kim & Ed

Your Child's Responsibilities....

2008-01-13T15:28:00.000-05:00

Yes, your child should have responsibilities, even as a child-athlete. How many times have you arrived at the soccer field without a soccer ball? How many times have you arrived at the football field without a water bottle? Or how many times have you arrived at the hockey rink without a single skate?

My guess is that many of us can relate in some way to the above scenarios. Whose fault is it? Yours? Your child's?

Okay, I agree with you--it's most likely the child's fault. However, I encourage you to keep in mind that, as parents, most of us are over-scheduled and constantly in a hurry. Parents tend to throw in a load of laundry, microwave a hot dog, change a dirty diaper, and/or take a last minute phone call all while getting several children out the door to several different practices. Sound familiar?

A key responsibility for your child-athlete is getting themselves and their gear ready for a practice or a game. The following tips will help you and your child to avoid or persevere through moments of blame and forgetfulness:

Stay calm. Becoming irate does not help an already stressful situation. Take a deep breath and try to think clearly before reacting to your child's forgetfulness.
Assign a specific location to keep each child's gear. A specific location for each child's gear will help you and your child with being able to locate the proper gear quickly.
Assign a specific area for all sports-related dirty laundry. Dirty uniforms are often discovered just before a game. Prevent this by having your child place their dirty uniform or equipment in a specified area. You're more likely to have it ready if you are actually away that it's dirty!
Store away all old gear. Gear that is too big, too small, or not necessary for your child's current sport should be stored away. If you keep old gear mixed with new gear, you and your child will be confused when you're in a rush to get out the door.
Create an equipment check list. If your child is repeatedly missing equipment when he arrives at practice, consider using a check list that is your child's responsibility before you leave the house.
Suffer the consequences. Age permitting, if your child repeatedly forgets equipment, consider having him sit out of a game or practice. This is hard to do, but it might be a good lesson to learn.

Once again, remember that bringing equipment is your child's responsibility. But it is your responsibility to guide and teach your child. Try out some of the above tips, and let us know how they work for you.

Holiday Break.......

2007-12-20T06:59:00.000-05:00

Hmmmm. Do sports parents ever get a break? Not much.

Fortunately, our two younger children have very little sports over the holiday break. Our oldest child will be playing in an out of town hockey tournament two days after Christmas.

In the spirit of being good sports-parents and in support of our son being a true team-player, I will smile and enjoy watching more games! The timing is not good, but you do what you have to do.

How about you? How do you feel about sports over the holidays?

......HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY!

Showing Interest in Your Child

2007-12-03T06:49:00.000-05:00

Recently, I realized that I have very few pictures of my children--especially in sports. Sure, I took a few when my first child started playing soccer. Eventually, I took a couple pictures of my second child. As for pictures of my third child? Almost none.

Don't worry--I don't lack interest in my children, nor do most of you. However, when my son said, "You don't have any pictures of me.....," I felt guilty. Yes, I'm at most of his games, but looking at his point of view, I probably don't appear all that interested.

I headed out last week and bought a new camera, and I've been snapping away pictures all week. Finally, we have documentation that we do celebrate Thanksgiving, that my kids have friends, that my children actually have grandparents, and that all three play sports! Needless to say, my kids were thrilled to see the pictures.

Snapping a few photos shows your child that you're supportive. Supporting your child can lead to more confidence. Documenting their childhood with pictures gives your child wonderful memories to look back on.

So.....start snapping away today! (FYI--The picture at the top is proof that I actually took a picture!)

Keeping Score in Youth Recreational Leagues...

2007-10-17T18:07:00.001-04:00

Recently, I received an email from a parent regarding the controversy in keeping score versus not keeping score in youth athletics.

To summarize, several times during the season for our recreational youth soccer team we have been asked to make adjustments--to even the playing level when our team is winning by many goals. The following email from a parent raises some interesting points on this issue:

Kim,

When I saw an assist at the last game I thought it was so awesome. I think I cheered for that girl (can't remember who) more than the one who scored! I am quite pleased with the coaching that the four of you do. (I left this paragraph here because I want readers to see what a wonderful group of parents I'm dealing with. Yes, there are a lot of great sports parents out there. Also, I soooo appreciate the compliment.)

Question...are you saying that the team has been asked to play with one less player for the rest of the season? We already have four sitting out. And, although I know that some girls rather like to sit out, especially on hot days, others probably do not. I understand the girls needing a break, or rest, and the substitutions that take place. I think you have been fair with who you play, when and where. However, I do not feel that it is fair that you have been asked to have one less player on the field during a game. It is not fair because we all paid for our daughters to participate: to learn the sport, how to play, the skills, the rules, sportsmanship and teamwork; to practice; and, to play during game time...not to sit on the side-line. Let the other team(s) play with an extra player.
I thought that Olentangy Youth Athletic Association was about playing the game, participating, and not about keeping score. Obviously, someone has been keeping score. Someone's feelings have been hurt. Why is it so bad that someone's feelings are hurt? Hurt is a part of life and as parents and coaches we can influence our children how to get past the hurt. By asking you to play with one less player, I believe that we (OYAA) are telling the 'hurt person' (for lack of a better person to refer to) and the other team(s) that if things are not going well for them, then they can ask/tell someone else to make a sacrifice so that they can feel better. What is that teaching our children? The easy way out? It is someone else's fault? I can change the rules to please me? I don't have to try harder, practice more, or do my best? I can't win if we play fair so you need to give me...a head start, an extra shot, more time...? And for the child who has to sit out because of the request, what is it saying to her? What is it saying to her team? It is not fair, I should be playing? Why do I have to sit out? What about...? How come they have more players? It must be okay to change rules to games? I am better so I can boss people around? I am inferior so I can tell people what to do? If things don't go my way someone else will have to pay the price? Are we telling them that playing well and scoring goals means nothing? Are we telling them that playing well, scoring goals and winning is not good? Are we conveying that doing a good job can have a negative consequence? Are we telling them that scoring goals is unfortunate??
Do you understand what I am trying to say?
At first, a few years ago, when I became familiar with the 'no keeping score' rule I thought it sounded like a good idea...in that playing was all about the game, participating in the sport. However I have since realized that players, and/or parents, often keep score. We are a competitive nation. The kids usually know if they win or lose and it is supposed to be no big deal either way, right?

Winning or losing is a big deal to some (or you would not have been asked to play with one less player). How are we going to teach our children to face loss, to be a good looser, to be a good winner, to demonstrate good sportsmanship, and so on... when score is not a part of the game?
OYAA sports are team sports, each player counts. Teamwork is essential, and individual effort is encouraged.

I played softball from the age of 9 years until my early 20s. When I was too old to play on the HGSA team any longer, I was asked to coach (as were many of my team mates) the younger girls in the league. So, I took a coaching course during college, and coached one season. Back then we kept score. My team did not win a single game. My girls learned how to handle loss. The other teams were nice and cheered for us for playing a good game. We did likewise. We never came away with long faces. We always played our best as a team and as individuals and we knew that and we celebrated who we were..... Keeping score helped us to realize that a loss does not mean that we were losers. We were winners. (I did not return to coaching the following season because I was working my way through college! I returned to coaching, fastpitch, two years ago.)
Kim, I am sorry; I don't really know why I felt compelled to share this with you. I guess I wanted to give you some background as to why I think that asking you to have a player sit seems to be against what OYAA is all about. Plus, I believe that you care. (I do care, and so do all of our coaches!)
Thanks, I hope that you understand.

These are great points. I encourage all of you to post comments with suggestions on how to responsibly handle these situations.

Kim

Pressure for Sports-parents...

2007-09-10T21:17:00.000-04:00

Responsibly guiding your child athlete is hard work. I'm blogging on sports-parenting, and now I feel the pressure to be a "perfect parent." While interviewing former high-level athletes regarding their own children, I'm learning some amazing tips for responsible sports-parenting. It's important for me to implement some of these tips with my own children.

For the first time in a while, I'm coaching third and fourth grade girls in a recreational soccer league. As a parent and as a coach, I tried really hard in our first game to 1) make it fun, 2)encourage the girls to work hard, and 3) seek for improvement/progress for each and every girl, at all skill levels.

I'm quite pleased to report that all three of my goals were met. Not only did the girls work hard, they each have progressed from practice into a game situation with many improvements. I'm not sure the girls even realized that they are now passing the ball, staying in position, and scoring goals as a result. It took a lot of hard work in practices, and I believe they were and are having fun. I think it's fun for the girls to feel a sense of personal accomplishment in just knowing that they are improving.

On the other hand, the coaches on the other team clearly did not have the same goals as our team. Like many of you, the coaches were parent-coaches. What I heard on the sideline from these parent-coaches was unacceptable. These coaches expressed in front of their own team that they were highly disappointed with the girls' performances. Additionally, these coaches were trying to intimidate the youth refs, and that was completely unfair.

I talked with my assistant coaches about this, and we all agreed that when we saw the girls do something wrong on the field, we noted it to ourselves to work on those points in practice. We believe in encouraging the girls to bring out the best in each of them. If what we're doing is not working, we look to approach an issue from another angle. For example, if the girls don't seem to be paying attention to a certain drill, we sometimes try to make a fun game out of a drill. This sometimes gets their attention better.

The most amazing part of our first game of the season was seeing our weakest player try her hardest and succeed in stopping a ball and passing it. Not only were we surprised as coaches to see this progress over just several weeks of practices, but suddenly at the end of the game, the girl asked us to borrow some equipment so she could practice more at home. I was shocked because I really didn't think she was very interested in soccer.

Sure, I felt pressure to be "responsibly coaching," but the pressure was worth it to see a group of very happy soccer players who deserve a pat on the back. Good job Tigers!!!

How Should Sports Parents Behave as Fans?

2007-08-08T08:40:00.000-04:00

Recently a parent asked me about the behavior of another parent during a youth lacrosse game. The parent was excessively yelling at a child on the opposing team to quit hitting. Now let me point out that the referee was not calling penalties for these hits. Lacrosse is a rough game and certain hits are allowed. These particular hits must have been legal.

The mother of the child who was getting yelled at was beside herself with concern. She didn't want her child to be hitting illegally, so she asked the other fans if these hits were clean. The general consensus was that they were clean.

This mother asked me what she should have done--approach the yelling fan or walk away?

In my opinion, this guy most likely wanted a confrontation. I advised the mom to walk as far away from him as she could. There are no benefits to getting into an argument with him.

If she did choose to argue with him, what good what it do?

embarrass both children
cause a scene
get one or both parents kicked out of the game

This type of scenario occurs frequently at youth sports games. Please post comments of responsible solutions that might help this mom if this were to happen again.

High-Cost Summer Camps...

2007-07-10T07:27:00.000-04:00

Yes, we are in the heart of summer camp season. Are any of you going broke or skipping a vacation this year to send your child to the best sports camp you can find? Why?

The prices of summer camps are sky rocketing. I think it's absolutely ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I truly believe camp experiences are important, but don't be tricked into believing that the best camps are the most expensive camps.

Here are a few tips to help you search for the "best" cost-efficient camps:

Check out local Colleges and Universities. Many college coaches run summer camps with the help of their athletes. Because they are affiliated with the schools, they tend to be less expensive than camp programs that are brought in from other areas.
Check out local school systems, including your own system and other systems. High school coaches and their athletes are often great instructors. If you can't make it to a camp in your own school system, check out other schools. For example, if the school across town is known for their great baseball program, most likely your child will learn alot from that camp. Sometimes it's great for your child to get some coaching for a week with a different point of view than their regular coaching. Also, it's always beneficial for your child to play a sport with kids he doesn't know.
Check out other local sports organizations. Your child might play on your local travel team, but that doesn't mean he has to do the local camp. Is there a pro team in your area? Are they running a camp? Often, retired or current pro athletes will run summer camps at reasonable costs to raise money for charities. Your child will learn skilled athletes, and you can feel good about the money going to a charity. You can't get more for your money than that!

Go ahead and send your child to camp, but don't feel guilty if you want to be economical about it. They'll still have a great experience!

Team Tryouts: The Mechanics of Your Child's Sports Team...

2007-04-30T11:10:00.000-04:00

Your child is trying out for several teams. They know that there's one team they want to make. They tryout, and do not get picked for that team. They're devastated. You're devastated.

It is your job as parents to help your child through these devastations. And yes, they are devastations. When your child gets cut from a team, it's a terrible feeling for you and your child, but you can and should pick up the pieces and move on.

First, before your child even tries out, remind them that anyone can get cut, even the best player. Every time there are tryouts, a "team" is being formed. The coaches are not only looking for talented children, they are looking to create a total team. Many high-level teams consist of players who work well together, a balance of players for specific positions, players with potential for improvement, and many other factors.

We recently saw a child get cut from a team, and somehow they had the best attitude. The parents had prepared their child for the possibility of getting cut from the team. They told their child that even if he gets cut, it doesn't mean he wasn't good enough. You can't always guess why you didn't make the team. They encouraged him to try his hardest and to move on to his next choice if he didn't make the team. When he got cut, he was prepared to move on to another tryout.

Teach your children to move on to plan B. Always have a plan B. Find the positive in every situation. Your child will have more success in life by learning these important lessons and knowing that every team is looking for something different. They can always try out again next year!

Your Child Athlete's Attire

2007-03-13T13:47:00.000-04:00

Spring is here, and your child athlete is playing on a new soccer, lacrosse, hockey, or baseball team. Do they need the optional team shorts or sweatsuit? Do they need a matching bag or new equipment? Where do you draw the line?

Many of us ask ourselves these questions in the beginning of a new sports season. The good news is that most of our children are in the same position. At the beginning of a season, many child athletes are starting out on newly formed athletic teams. Even if a team isn't new, there are always some changes to the roster when a new season begins.

Although it can get costly, we have occasionally bought our children the little extras that come with being part of a team. No, they don't need another t-shirt, but a team t-shirt can make your child proud. It's good to give our children that feeling of importance, but remember that you need to buy every item available.

We have interviewed many high-level athletes, and the bottom line for many of them is team work and learning to be part of a team. Team work is on the field, but should transfer over to off the field. If the team wears matching blue socks or carries purple bags, then go ahead, and teach your child that it's fun to join in.

Preparing Your Child for Tryouts

2007-03-01T12:54:00.000-05:00

As we head into the spring, many of our children will be trying out for travel teams in various sports, including soccer, baseball, and even hockey. How do you prepare your child for tryouts? Should you prepare your child for tryouts?

With our three children we look for the following signs to determine if they're ready to tryout for travel teams:

Your child shows a desire to tryout for a travel team. This includes the child specifically requesting to tryout.
Your child works hard in their sport; therefore, advancing to a higher level team is a good idea.
Your child is talented in a sport. Keep in mind if they are talented, then you want to make sure they are challenged by putting them on the appropriate level team.

Tips on preparing your child for tryouts:

Make your child aware that they will have to work hard at a tryout to earn a position on a team.
Let your child know that if the put forward one-hundred percent effort and don't make the team, it's OK. Effort is the key.
Tell your child that whether they make a team or not, it's important to set goals and to keep trying to earn a spot on a team. It might just take another year of practice to earn a spot on a travel team, and children need to follow their passions and work hard to get where they want to be.

In interviewing high-level athletes, almost all of the athletes stress the importance of applying one-hundred percent effort in sports. Most of these athletes are impressed by a not so talented player who exerts one-hundred percent effort.

Let your child know that you support them. Encourage your child. And, most importantly, have your child follow their passions in sports.

When to Start Your Child in Sports

2007-02-17T18:23:00.000-05:00

I recently spoke to a group of parents who wanted to know what's the appropriate age to introduce organized athletics to their child. Of course, there is no absolutely "right" answer, but I have some guidelines:

1. Look for your child should express an interest in a sport. For example, if they enjoy kicking around the soccer ball in the yard and they participate well in group situations, such as preschool, then consider joining the appropriate local soccer team for their age group.

2. Vary the sports. I believe that preschool and elementary age children should be introduced to multiple sports so a parent will be able to observe their child and learn what the child's true passions are. If you introduce swimming for a session, then gymnastics, then a soccer team in the spring, a parent might notice their child enjoying one sport over another.

3. Encourage playing all sports in the yard or park as much as possible. I have interviewed many high-level athletes, and they often state that they begin their children in sports at older ages than most parents in today's world. These athletes do not see an urgency to have their children in organized sports in preschool or even the first years of elementary school.

Always look for your child's natural talents in a sport, but remember that your child should express a passion to participate too.

Steps for Your Child's Team's Success

2007-01-21T13:36:00.000-05:00

The following advice was recently recommended to us:

We would like to gently remind parents about coaching from the stands. The players are at an age where they need to read and react to the play before them on the ice. They will become better players as they develop this skill.
We suggest curfew times on each specific game. If there is an early start, being in bed before 10pm the night before is probably the best for the kids.
We recommend that parents give coaches a say in planning events and outings for a team. Sometimes an event might be considered interferring with timing of a game, and this can lead to poor performance. When families have travelled far for a tournament, good effort is appreciated by the families, the children, and the coaches.
We suggest pre game arrival times and provide a countdown until the start of game to help the kids establish appropriate habits and start to focus. (Children need to prepare and get focused before a game.)
Establish a player oath saying something to the effect of: “I will always perform as best as I can, and I will always expect that my teammate will perform the best that they can”. Every child will make mistakes – kids getting down on kids is an unfortunate area of child development that will occur. Our responsibility as the adult is to set the example in our homes (or on the car ride home) as well as be present when situations like this are likely to occur. (After games: if an adult is present, the likelihood of a child putting down another child is less likely to occur. But in the event it does occur the adult can redirect the conversation back to the oath established.
Many teams have a lot of great qualities within the players and families. Meshing those qualities for a positive result is extremely tough. Parents and players need to trust and respect each other and the coaches.

Ultimately, we want our children to have success in athletics and success in life. Use this advice to guide them towards success.

Be responsible sports parents...

2007-01-02T13:51:00.000-05:00

Are you a responsible sports parent? Do you cheer for your team? Do you encourage the team to keep trying even when they're behind? Are you friendly while sitting in the stands?

At a tournament last weekend, many parents were screaming so loud it was embarrassing for the team. They were arguing with other parents and yelling at the players. Is this good for our children, not to mention the team?

Think about your child. They're out there trying their hardest, and at the same time they're cringing because their mom or dad are yelling so loudly that no one is watching the game anymore.

How do you think they feel? Is this motivating them to do better or try harder?If you want to yell, don't yell at your child. Yell words of encouragement and support. Yell for your team and for your child. Here's a few examples:

Good teamwork!
Keep trying!
Way to work hard!
Nice passing!
Good block!

Next time you want to yell, try a nice comment. Your child and coaches will appreciate it!

Guidance For Your Child Athlete

2006-12-14T17:36:00.000-05:00

Attention all parents:
Our tip this week is to make sure that your child is passionate about his/her sport. Just because you like sport doesn't mean your child does. He/she might be good at or just love a different sport. Go with it. It might seem boring to you, but teaching them young to follow their passions can lead to happy and successful children.
One of our children who is a very talented soccer player simply quit in 6th grade. He just didn't want to be there anymore. There was no point in arguing when he preferred to be on the ice playing hockey. Making the change made our life easier simply because he was happy.
We recommend you look for your child's passion, and follow it. Most likely you will all end up happier!