Signs of Passion...

The holidays are here and you're hoping for some time away from youth sports. Your child, on the other hand, can't wait for the break from school so he can spend more time playing soccer and basketball...

Don't be distressed. Desire to play the game is passion. You should want your child to play the sport of his choice because it's fun for him. You might be passionate about your child's sports, but it's wonderful to see that passion in a child.

Here are a few scenarios that demonstrate signs of passion for a sport:

1. Your daughter keeps bugging you to head to the gym even after you've told her "no."
2. Your son asks you if she can sign up for a basketball camp over winter break.
3. After playing in a hockey game, your son asks if he can stay and shoot more pucks.
4. The whole neighborhood is busy getting ready for the holidays, and suddenly, you notice twenty-five kids playing football in your backyard.
5. Your son is outside playing soccer with your dog.
6. You get up at 5:00 am for a youth hockey game and magically, your daughter jumps out of bed to get ready for the early morning game. (Why doesn't she do that for school?)
7. You're dreading another youth game, but your son's enthusiasm brings you joy.
8. You have plans to attend a holiday part, but your daughter begs you to attend her basketball game instead of the party.
9. Your son begs you to leave early for his baseball practice. (He doesn't want to be late.)
10. It's Christmas morning and the whole family is opening gifts--your daughter asks what time the rink opens for skating.

I love to see these signs of passion. What signs have you seen in your child?

Accelerate Radio

Accelerate Radio airs live on Mondays from 7:30-8:30 p.m. This Rochester, NY based radio program is aimed at educating youth athletes.

I was pleased to join the "Managing Your Time" program last Monday as a guest. Along with several guests, I discussed various time management tips to help athletes improve how they balance athletics with academics and other commitments.

Go to Accelerate Radio and click on the Nov. 24th archive to listen. Many thanks to Brian Guck for including me in the program.

-Kim

Maksymum Hockey Radio

I will be appearing live on Maksymum Hockey Radio this Sunday, November 16 at 10:25 a.m. EST. The topic of the show is "Choices in Hockey and How to Be Prepared for Them."

In Rochester, NY, you can listen on Sports Radio 1280 WHTK-AM. Or you can listen live on the internet (or on an archive after the show is aired) at http://www.maksymum.com/radio_show/. (I will appear on the 2nd half of the one hour show.)

Hope you enjoy the program!

-Kim

Sports Parents Need Help...

What do grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends have in common? They are awesome helpers for sports parents!

You know...the time you have to be at three youth games in three different cities. Sometimes it's not possible to be in three places at once. You don't want to ask others to help you, but you might not have a choice.

With the holidays upcoming, remember this year to give a little gift to those who you appreciate because their help is wonderful and you are probably extremely grateful.

Pre-Game for Parents

What do you do with that extra thirty or sixty minutes while your child is warming up with his team?

I, (Kim), prefer to read a book, write on my laptop, or watch the warmups. Ed, on the other hand, almost always watches warm-ups. With our differing opinions on this topic, we thought it would be fun to take a poll. You can choose one answer or several in the poll posted above.

For those of you who enjoying reading novels, Michael Connelly's The Brass Verdict was just released. If you see me at the rink in the near future, that's what I'll be reading. I was lucky enough to get my copy signed earlier this week by Michael himself! (If any Michael Connelly fans or writers are reading this post, you can hear me ask Michael a question on a Podcast taped earlier today. I'm the "Kim from Ohio" caller.)

Post a comment and tell us how you prefer to spend your time while you're waiting for your child's game to start.

Breaking News...

Yesterday, we learned that our son Clark was drafted by the Sioux Falls Stampedes in the USHL (Junior A hockey). As soon as we learn a few more details, we'll post what this means...

Weekend Observations

From beautiful lush-green soccer fields to sometimes yucky hockey rinks, we see a lot of different facilities for youth sports. Last weekend we were in a small rural town, and driving through we observed the following:

• football field: adequate
• soccer field: adequate
• baseball field: GORGEOUS

What do these observations mean? Let us know your opinion by posting a comment.

Sports Parents: Teach Your Children to be Flexible

Coaches are tough on youth athletes these days--they cut kids from teams, sit players for not playing well, and have extremely high expectations for their players. So....what should you do when your child is moved from his favorite position as a forward to defense?

It's in your child's best interest to teach him to go with the flow. Why?

1. He might learn to love his new position.
2. He might be better or more skilled at his new position.
3. The coach might realize that his original position was a better choice.
4. The coach might gain respect for a player who doesn't complain.

Look for the positives and try to make the best out of these situations!

-Kim

Youth Sports: How Much is TOO Much?

The end of summer has brought the start of school, religion class, hockey, soccer, cross country, and a side of choir and girl scout meetings for our children. How much is too much?

We cut back on the sports when:

• Homework isn't getting done.
• Extra sleep is during studyhall.
• Dinner is being eaten in the car daily.
• Grades are going down.

Please post a comment and share any and all reasons why you might restrict your child's participation in sports.

Learning Responsibility...

Last night our daughter had twenty minutes to get herself ready for soccer practice. It wasn't enough time...

Although she managed to get herself dressed, she was unable to find her soccer ball and her cleats. Per her coaches' instructions, I left the responsibility to her, while I sat in the car and waited, and waited, and waited.

Needless to say, she never found the proper ball and was late for practice. Did she learn her lesson?

YES! After soccer practice, she finished her homework, packed her book bag, got her clothes out for the morning, and left for school on time this morning. Hooray!

-Kim

Olympic Sacrifices

Becoming an elite or Olympic athlete takes sacrifices. For young athletes, how much is too much? Check out my guest blog post on this topic at The Positive Coaching Alliance (8/5/08).

Hope you're enjoying the Olympics this month!

-Kim

Dealing with Youth Sports Injuries...

When raising your children, you will deal with bumps and bruises at some point. When your child plays organized sports, you might deal with more bumps and bruises, and perhaps, broken bones or stitches. It seems to be a trend.

Well, we never "expect" our children to get injured, but we were really thrown for a loop last week when the Orthopedic cleared our daughter at 4:00 from a broken finger injury, and then at 7:00 she broke her ankle.

Let's back up--our daughter decided last month that she wanted to join the swim team for the first time. We thought this was a good idea because she tends to sprain her ankes alot. We thought swimming might be a good sport for her to stay injury-free. Well, in her second race at her first swim meet, she went crooked and her hand hit the lane marker. We waited several days before we took her for an x-ray. Sure enough, she had broken a growth plate in her finger.

The finger injury healed quickly. Three weeks later she was cleared from the injury. That night, she joined a friend at a recreational gymnastics class, (three hours after returning home from her doctor's appointment). While walking across a mat, she twisted her ankle. Yes, she broke her ankle. Bummer!

As sports parent, we take it all in stride.

Emily Wyffels: Former Cornell University Soccer Player

Emily Wyffels is a former member of the Women's Cornell University Soccer Team. Currently, Emily is a Communications Associate for the Positive Coaching Alliance based at Stanford University.

Last week, our nine-year-old daughter was invited to play on a travel soccer team. I had one huge concern - there was only one coach for the team. When my older children played on travel soccer teams, they had a coach and an assistant coach.

Knowing that Emily had played college soccer, I asked her to share her youth soccer experience with me. Here's what Emily had to say: (Posted with her permission.)

Thanks for thinking of me regarding your soccer question.

U10’s was about the time I started playing travel soccer, too. I first started as the only girl on a boy’s travel team because our town was so small and no one was really all that interested in soccer. In one of our league games, we played the only girls travel team the area. I ended up getting recruited to play for that team, and subsequently, played with the same team for eight years.

Granted, I grew up in a very rural area in Illinois, so my parents had to start driving fifty miles one way so I could continue playing with this team. Under those circumstances, there were not a lot of coaches in the area who were coaching travel soccer, let alone girls, so I had only one coach to start off with. He was the father of one of the girls on the team and did a great job of being very fair and consistent with all the players, and didn’t show favoritism towards his own daughter. He also had a great reputation as the club president, and it was always known that he had the best interest of the club and our team in mind at all times.

As we progressed through the years, we eventually had a few parents volunteer to assist, but they served more as the adult presence when our coach couldn’t be there for games.

It seems like just yesterday I was playing club and my parents were there learning about the whole process right along with me.

Thanks for sharing, Emily! It's helpful to hear what's worked for others.

-Kim

Sports Parenting: General Observations

We had a fairly easy weekend. Since we weren't racing around from one place to another, (like we usually do), I enjoyed watching several youth lacrosse games and observed some interesting sports parents. I'd like to share some general observations, along with a review of our weekend:

Friday:

• Game one of the Ohio Cup Lacrosse Tournament (sixth graders).
• Thirty minute drive to tournament.
• Friday rush hour in Columbus.
• Two team members arrived twenty minutes before start of game. (Most of the team arrived at least one hour early.)
• Approximately 100 degrees. (Yuck!)
• Kids showed up ready to play hard.
• Player with very little playing time scored goal. Hooray! (Credit the team for great teamwork--the kids trusted their weaker teammate and passed the ball.)
• Ref without a doubt was calling the game with a preference for the local team. (That's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.)
• Our team won.

Saturday:

• Games two, three, and four of the Ohio Cup tournament.
• We arrived at fields at seven a.m.
• Game two was against a very strong all-star team. We lost.
• Game three was against a team that won in over-time. This team got no break between that game and playing us. Not fair. We won.
• Game four was against the same team that we beat in game one. This was our third game of the day and their second game of the day. Again, this was unfair. (Kids who played three games will be more tired that kids who played two games.) We lost.
• Ref got angry at parent. The parent backed off immediately, but the ref dug a little farther--he kept asking if the parent really understood that he had to stop yelling. How many times should the parent have to agree?
• Husband took oldest child to play in evening pond-hockey game.
• Child decided to play goalie, (he has never played goalie in his life), because the real goalie forgot to bring his skates. The entire team had a lot of fun cheering on their rookie goalie!

Sunday:

• No games.
• Took our middle child to lacrosse camp.
• Drove two hours to Akron for nephew's graduation party.
• One parent arrived late due to child's all-star-team baseball practice.
• One parent commented that she doesn't allow sports for her children on Sundays--it's her day off.
• One parent came alone because her son and husband were playing in a golf tournament.
• One parent made his daughter run the fields (next to the party) as punishment for not working hard in the child's last soccer game. (Ridiculous.)
• Drove two hours home.

This was a fairly easy and fun weekend. Thought you might enjoy the observations. There's always something interesting happening in the world of youth sports!

-Kim

Missing a Practice or Game...

The other night our daughter had a soccer practice with me, (Kim), as the coach, our son had a lacrosse practice, and our oldest son had a lacrosse game. In the scheme of things, this was a fairly simple night--each child had only one place to be and only one of us was coaching. (There have been nights that both of us had to coach and the children had multiple activities, such as Brownies, Religion Class, and two sports practices.)

The problem was that I don't often watch our oldest son's lacrosse games because I'm coaching another sport or driving the other two kids to practices. So...this week I was determined to watch his game.

After a long day of worrying about how I was going to get each child where he or she needed to be, I managed to drop my daughter at a teammate's house an hour before her soccer practice. I told my middle child that he had to ride his bike to lacrosse practice and that I would pick him and his bike up at the end of his practice. (It is possible for him to ride his bike two miles to practice, but we have to be careful in case of rain.) Last, I drove across town in rush hour and managed to watch our oldest son's game. Hooray!

In this case, it was me who missed coaching; however, a co-coach covered for me. Each day I juggle and figure out how I can get each of my children to their activities. I do my best, but sometimes one of us has to miss an activity, especially when Ed is out of town.

This is youth sports, and I'm human. Let's face it--it might be difficult, but sometimes we have to just say "no."

-Kim

Are You Over-scheduled?

We are over-scheduled sports parents. I recommend taking a deep breath before reading my schedule from last weekend:

Friday:

• Husband and Child #1 drove to Toledo for hockey camp through Sunday.
• Missed Child #1's lacrosse game because Child #1 was in Toledo.

Saturday morning:

• Child #2 was picked up by friend's parents for weekend lacrosse tournament in Cincinnati.
• Child #3 played in local soccer game and I coached (in pouring down rain).

Saturday late morning:

• Child #3 and I drove to Cincinnati (two hours) for Child #2's lacrosse tournament. (Due to congestion in tournament parking lot, we missed Child #2's first game of the day.)

Saturday afternoon:

• Child #3 and I watched two of Child #2's lacrosse games.

Saturday evening:

• Child #2, Child #3, and I met relatives for quick dinner and to discuss possible speaking engagement.
• Child #2 went home with my sister-in-law for the night.
• Child #3 and I drove back to Columbus (two hours).

Sunday morning:

• Sister-in-law drove Child #2 to lacrosse tournament (three more games).
• Child #3 and I drove to Akron (two hours) for my sister's baby shower.

Sunday afternoon:

• Friends drove Child #2 back to Columbus (two hours).
• Husband sent Child #1 to Akron (two hours) with friends so I could pick him up and drive him back to Columbus.
• Husband drove somewhere in Ohio for work. (Yes, we have jobs to earn money.)
• Child #3 and I left Baby Shower and picked up Child #1 at friend's house in Akron.

Sunday evening:

• Child #1, Child #3, and I drove home to Columbus (two hours).
• I picked up Child #2 at friend's house.

Sound familiar? Are you confused? I'm confused, but this is typical for most sports-parents. Do you agree?

-Kim

Your Child's Passion...

Passion. There's nothing better as coaches and as sports parents than observing a child's passion towards a sport. When your child is watching a game live or on tv, or playing in a game, do you ever notice a sparkle in his eyes?

Our middle child is on a newly formed travel-lacrosse team. He played lacrosse for the last couple of years on a recreational team. We weren't too excited for our son to play travel lacrosse because his schedule is quite full.

Low and behold, we were wrong! This travel team has been fabulous. Our son's improvement in the game has been amazing - we see a sparkle in his eye every time he plays, and his confidence and self esteem have improved significantly.

We love to see a child's passion, excitement, interest, desire, or any form of love for the game. Isn't that what you want to see from your child? Have you seen your child's passion for a sport? Please share your stories with us!

Having Fun, Rain or Shine!

Spring is here! Time for baseball, soccer, lacrosse, and many other youth sports. But it's rainy and cold. Do you really want to watch your child participate in sports outside in the rain and cold? Do you dread watching youth sports games when you're freezing and wet?

Use the following tips to help you and your child make the best of nasty weather conditions:

• Encourage your child to have fun in the rain and mud. Children learn from adults. If you let your child know that it's ok to have fun and get wet and dirty, he will be more comfortable and be more likely to enjoy the bad weather conditions.
• Bring a survival bag packed with warm clothes and a blanket.
• Make hot chocolate. Having hot chocolate ready on the sidelines is a little incentive for your child to enjoy the poor weather conditions. Plus, it will help to warm your child up.
• Go out and watch the game from the sidelines, not from your car. If you tell your child that it's ok to get wet and dirty, he will be more likely to believe you if he sees you getting drenched by the rain too.
• Cheer for your child's team. Rain or sun, you can still cheer for your child's team, and your child will enjoy the support.

Do you have any tips for surviving bad weather? We would love to hear from you. Please post comments and share your tips or fun stories of survival!

Sports Parenting Reminder: Cheer for ALL Team Members

Today, I was at a youth soccer game. While sitting next to a couple of enthusiastic parents, I noticed that their cheering and yelling (encouraging words) were genuine. These parents were cheering for ALL team members, not only their daughter.

So many sports parents yell AT their child and forget about the actual support all children need. Isn't it our job to support and encourage our children? Don't we all want to help our children as much as possible? Isn't it best to support all children on a team?

Kids love to hear the following phrases:

• Great pass!
• Nice stop!
• Good team work!
• Way to work hard!
• You can do it!
• Awesome move!

The next time your child or another child on the team is having a bad day during a game, try yelling or cheering some words of encouragement. You might be surprised by the results!

I was thrilled to hear this type of encouragement from parents. Sometimes we can all use a reminder.

Kim

The Positive Coaching Alliance

The Positive Coaching Alliance (www.positivecoach.org) is a nonprofit organization based at the Stanford University Athletic Department. This national organization focuses on creating "a movement to transform the culture of youth sports so that all youth athletes have a positive, character-building experience."

PCA Trainers conduct workshops for youth sports coaches, parents, organizational leaders and athletes. PCA Champions are volunteers who are advocates for creating a positive youth culture in sports.

In addition to support from elite coaches and athletes from professional and olympic sports, PCA has partners, trainers, workshop attendees, National Advisory Board members and thousands of individuals, foundations and corporations leading their movement.

We are thrilled to be PCA Champions and encourage you to make positive choices when guiding your children in youth sports.

Kim & Ed

Please Buy: THE LIAR'S DIARY

Today, over 300 bloggers, including bestsellers, Emmy winners, movie makers, and publishing houses have come together to talk about THE LIAR'S DIARY by Patry Francis.

In support of Author Patry Francis, recently diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and unable to promote her book, we are urging you to purchase her newly released book THE LIAR'S DIARY in paperback.

Please feel free to read Patry's blog and her blog post about her cancer.

Here are the publisher's words:

Answering the question of what is more powerful—family or friendship? this debut novel unforgettably shows how far one woman would go to protect either.

They couldn’t be more different, but they form a friendship that will alter both their fates. When Ali Mather blows into town, breaking all the rules and breaking hearts (despite the fact that she is pushing forty), she also makes a mark on an unlikely family. Almost against her will, Jeanne Cross feels drawn to this strangely vibrant woman, a fascination that begins to infect Jeanne’s “perfect” husband as well as their teenaged son.

At the heart of the friendship between Ali and Jeanne are deep-seated emotional needs, vulnerabilities they have each been recording in their diaries. Ali also senses another kind of vulnerability; she believes someone has been entering her house when she is not at home—and not with the usual intentions. What this burglar wants is nothing less than a piece of Ali’s soul.
When a murderer strikes and Jeanne’s son is arrested, we learn that the key to the crime lies in the diaries of two very different women . . . but only one of them is telling the truth. A chilling tour of troubled minds, The Liar’s Diary signals the launch of an immensely talented new novelist who knows just how to keep her readers guessing.

Click on any of the following links to purchase THE LIAR'S DIARY:

• Amazon
• Barnes & Noble
• Powell's
• Penguin to save 15% (after you add the book to your cart, just enter the word PATRY in the coupon code field and click ‘update cart’ to activate the discount).

Thank you for your support.

Kim & Ed

Your Child's Responsibilities....

Yes, your child should have responsibilities, even as a child-athlete. How many times have you arrived at the soccer field without a soccer ball? How many times have you arrived at the football field without a water bottle? Or how many times have you arrived at the hockey rink without a single skate?

My guess is that many of us can relate in some way to the above scenarios. Whose fault is it? Yours? Your child's?

Okay, I agree with you--it's most likely the child's fault. However, I encourage you to keep in mind that, as parents, most of us are over-scheduled and constantly in a hurry. Parents tend to throw in a load of laundry, microwave a hot dog, change a dirty diaper, and/or take a last minute phone call all while getting several children out the door to several different practices. Sound familiar?

A key responsibility for your child-athlete is getting themselves and their gear ready for a practice or a game. The following tips will help you and your child to avoid or persevere through moments of blame and forgetfulness:

1. Stay calm. Becoming irate does not help an already stressful situation. Take a deep breath and try to think clearly before reacting to your child's forgetfulness.
2. Assign a specific location to keep each child's gear. A specific location for each child's gear will help you and your child with being able to locate the proper gear quickly.
3. Assign a specific area for all sports-related dirty laundry. Dirty uniforms are often discovered just before a game. Prevent this by having your child place their dirty uniform or equipment in a specified area. You're more likely to have it ready if you are actually away that it's dirty!
4. Store away all old gear. Gear that is too big, too small, or not necessary for your child's current sport should be stored away. If you keep old gear mixed with new gear, you and your child will be confused when you're in a rush to get out the door.
5. Create an equipment check list. If your child is repeatedly missing equipment when he arrives at practice, consider using a check list that is your child's responsibility before you leave the house.
6. Suffer the consequences. Age permitting, if your child repeatedly forgets equipment, consider having him sit out of a game or practice. This is hard to do, but it might be a good lesson to learn.

Once again, remember that bringing equipment is your child's responsibility. But it is your responsibility to guide and teach your child. Try out some of the above tips, and let us know how they work for you.