After recently observing an irate sports parent, I realized how easily a situation could turn from a heated moment to a truly dangerous event. When does a situation warrant calling 911? Retired Police Lieutenant Dave Swords has agreed to give us some tips and guidelines for handling these out-of-control parents.
Q: When a sports parent is yelling and screaming inappropriately, should other parents step in and try to calm the person?
A: The problem of parents getting too involved in their kid’s sporting events has been an issue as long as organized sports have been around. Most of the time, when it becomes a problem, coaches or other parents can take care of the matter. However, there are those times when things get really out of hand.
I would say that when your reaction moves from one of annoyance to one of fear, it may be time to get out that cell phone.
Q: What are the signs that a parent is over-the-edge and poses a threat to others?
A: Every parent who has had a child in sports can probably recall a time when a parent began to berate the child from the sidelines or took it upon themselves to coach the coach. But if the person begins to make threats or disrupt the game (perhaps by barging onto the field or court), then things have moved to a different level. Often, other parents or coaches will try to intercede and regain control of the situation. But if this fails or results in threats of violence, it's time to call the police.
Q: What are the guidelines for when it's appropriate to call 911?
A: First of all, 911 should be reserved for emergencies or, as in these cases, potential emergencies. I think that as long you feel compelled to call the police in the types of situations we are thinking of today, a call to 911 is absolutely appropriate. Most people don’t have their police department’s non-emergency number committed to memory, and no one at the PD would criticize you for using 911 in this situation.
Q: When in doubt, is it better to call 911 before a situation erupts to a dangerous level?
A: Absolutely. No one wants to have to call the police on another parent, especially someone you may know, but when one thinks of the possibilities for violence, a call to the law can be a prudent move to make.
I would also add that if the problem parent leaves before the police are called but does so in a way that makes you think they could come back looking for trouble, such as an open threat to do just that, or more subtle comments that lead you to believe it may not be over, go ahead and make that call - just let the police know what is going on and ask if they could send a car to drive by on occasion until the game is over. If you get a dispatcher who tries to tell you that is not possible, or refuses to do so, ask to speak to the officer in charge.
In closing, let me repeat what I said in response to the first question. When the situation moves from annoyance to fear, it may be time to call the police. Just use your common sense and realize that while you hate to call the police because of what might happen, that is better than letting it escalate to a level where someone could get hurt. Grandma was right when she told us, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
*Dave generously offered to answer any further questions. Feel free to post in the "Comments." He will check in periodically throughout the month of October.
