Revisiting Resilience...

I'm finally getting back to the resilience topic. Better late than never...(as the saying goes).

Given the fact that it has taken me over a month to write this post, I'm certain resilience is an important topic. And I am a good example. My intention to write this post weeks ago were good, but life got in my way--Thanksgiving, work projects, youth sports games...blah, blah, blah.

At last, I stepped back and looked at my process. Without resilience, I might have shut my blog down and disappeared. Instead, I determined that writing in the morning before my day begins might solve my problem. Even if I didn't write the entire post in one day, at least it would be a step in the right direction...progress...words are on the screen.

Resilience means bouncing back, persevering, not letting negative outcomes or results or lack of progress get you down. Did Michael Jordan stop playing basketball when he was cut from his High School basketball team? No. He clearly moved forward and became one of the best professional basketball players in the world.

My point here is that you should help your child persevere when he or she loves a sport. With or without talent, he or she can always improve and become a better player. Keep your eyes open for opportunities to help her learn or even to step back in order to progress forward.

For the last several years my son Cameron was quite a bit smaller than other players in his age group. Cameron had to work hard to earn a spot on a high-level hockey team. At last he grew this summer and is now average size. And he now stands out as a strong, skilled player. Last year you would have never noticed him on the ice. He blended in and barely held his own.

I am thankful Cameron kept trying out for a high-level hockey team year after year and kept working hard. He is now where he wants to be and hopes to go beyond. We are yet again looking at the process and deciding what steps he can take to progress even further.

Circumstances, players, coaches, teams, etc. are forever changing. Your child can adapt. You can adapt. You can learn from good experiences and learn from bad experiences, as well. Just help your child to continue moving forward. Embrace resilience.

I would love to hear your stories on how your child athlete has remained resilient resulting in a positive outcome. Please post your comments...

Resilience...

Today, I recommend listening to this video of Bruce Bochy, San Francisco Giants Manager,  posted on The Positive Coaching Alliance web site. Coach Bochy elaborates on how young athletes can develop resilience and why it is important.

Resilience is key for successful young athletes. I've seen many parents protect their kids from failures and to a degree from defeat in sports. You know the type--the mom who doesn't allow her son to try out for a high-level team and risk getting cut. Instead, she guides her son to a local, lower-level team.

Please watch the video (link above) and ponder this. Tomorrow, I will write another post on the topic because I have a lot more to say...

Kim

Kindle the Fire...

Last night, my daughter Breea was trying to choose an audition song for the church festival. I attempted to help her choose a song that she could actually sing well. However, she had a different path in mind...

Needless to say...after filming several videos of Breea singing an appropriate audition song (which she sang quite well, in my opinion), she decided to let all rules fall by the wayside. Was the song of Breea's preference appropriate for a church festival? No. But I could see the passion behind her singing, and that was somewhat shocking.

You can see Breea's passion in this inappropriate-for-church video:

Sometimes we all forget that there has to be a fire, a desire, or some sort of driving force for a child to succeed. It our job as parents to kindle the fire. Of course, with a little direction...

2012 Olympics: The Mental Games

You all know that Olympic athletes physically train at intense levels. Those muscles are incredible. Beautiful. If you haven't noticed...simply ask any man and he'll tell you all about the beach volleyball bodies.

What about the mental edge? You can't actually physically see mental strength or weakness. However, you can get a sense for it. There's something about the look in an athlete's eyes--determination, focus, intensity. You can't measure it. And it can change in a heartbeat.

When the pressure is on, mental focus can make or break an athlete. There were several recent Olympic scenarios in which athletes overcame the mental strain of unexpected losses and succeeded:

• Swimmer Michael Phelps narrowly qualified for the final round in his 2012 Olympic opening race. He also failed to medal in that race. But Phelps persevered and went on to win an individual silver, 2 individual gold, 2 relay gold, and 1 relay silver.
• 2011 world all-around champion gymnast Jordyn Wieber failed to qualify for the Olympic all-around finals. Yet she persevered and helped lead the U.S. team to gold. 
• Gymnast Gabby Douglas was the underdog, but pulled herself together and won the all-around gold. In my opinion, she became mentally exhausted (and possibly physically exhausted) from all the pressure, then struggled a bit in the event finals.
• The U.S. women’s soccer team earned several come-from-behind wins and in the end took the gold.

These athletes did not sink amid disappointment. Champions continue to fight. Most aim to replace a bad result with another good result. For example, if she loses one race, she focuses on winning the next.

No matter how good you are, you will always face mental obstacles and will always have room for improvement and greater success.

I’m a firm believer that success is always possible eventually… One word sums it up for me:  Believe.

Go, Mom, Go!

A youth hockey mom ran onto the ice and yelled at the refs for not stopping several fights (which had gone on for an excessive amount of time) last weekend. This episode occurred during a tournament game, so the players were likely appalled by the mom's actions.

You can view the video clip on Inside Edition here.

If I ran out on the ice, my boys would have been mortified. But...I have to admit that given the right circumstances, I would have done the same thing as the mom in the video. I will cross the humiliation line when it comes to protecting my children.

I will do whatever is necessary to keep my children safe. I will speak up and stop a parent from beating his child at a store. I will confront a teacher if I hear her berating a child in a classroom. I will immediately stop a child molester from touching a child inappropriately.

Is running onto the ice to stop a hockey fight any different from these scenarios? In my opinion, no. It is protecting children. Point blank.

Truth be told, I have stopped a parent from beating his child in a Target store. I have reprimanded a coach for inappropriate coaching during a game (I have only done this one time in 17 years, btw). I have even stood between an irate parent and a coach during a heated discussion in order to stop potential punches.

My children have all been embarrassed by my actions at one time or another. However, my actions are no different than enforcing bedtimes. There are just some things that are mandatory.

I beg you...protect your children.

Good and Bad Sportsmanship

Inside Edition featured a couple of videos which displayed good and bad sportsmanship. Check it out at:  GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP WINS OUT.

I find it amazing that some people get caught up in excitement in extreme ways. The young girl in the first video was about to place first in a huge race, yet she stopped to help an ailing competitor. The older girl in the second video pulled a pair of cleats right out of a young child's hands.

I think that older girl (more specifically 45 years old I believe) could use some counseling. She should certainly have the ability to control herself and not go gaga over a star football player.

In my opinion, sportsmanship comes down to a combination of personality, how a child is raised, and what a child has been taught. What do you think?

Role Reversal...

A daughter consoled her dad after a soccer game. Ironic, yet true. Once in awhile we all need to lighten up, and the following video is a good reminder:

Concussions and the Return-to-Play Roadmap

Concussions are rampant in youth sports today, and appropriate treatment often goes by the wayside. Why? Kids want to stay in the game and often neglect to mention or downplay symptoms.

Disclaimer:  I'm not a medical expert in this area, so please seek professional medical attention if you suspect your child has a concussion.

Our son Cameron suffered a concussion during a hockey game a few months ago. Yes, he took a direct hit to the head. But his symptoms were minor and he stayed in the game. The coach noticed he was mentally responding a tad slower than usual so he limited his playing time.

After removing his helmet at the end of the game, Cameron said that he immediately had a headache and was nauseous.

Later in the evening, Cameron's headache symptoms progressed by the hour. In the morning, the headache persisted and he mentioned that he couldn't concentrate. Ed and I both noticed his focus seemed off.

Mistake #1:  We assumed he was getting a virus and was trying to get out of going to school. Wrong. He was really in true pain with a pounding headache. At a doctor visit later in the day, the doc verified that Cameron had a concussion.

The doctor analyzed the symptoms and administered an Impact test (cognitive baseline test), comparing the results to the test Cameron had taken before the season began.

We (Ed and I) quickly learned that sending Cameron to school was a big no-no. To heal the brain, it is best to rest. That means flat out no concentrating, no focusing, no watching TV and no playing video games.

What the heck? In my day, if your head hurt, you sucked it up. Ed likely had numerous concussions (what hockey player hasn't taken a hit to the head?), yet he never took a day off. Staying out of the game and out of school seemed insane to us.

Times have changed. I can understand why. Cameron was unable to focus. I noticed this immediately upon seeing his schoolwork scores drop in one day. He couldn't answer simple questions with a normal response.

Mistake #2:  We ignored minor symptoms which appeared after Cameron had been cleared by the doctor and returned to practice. Although he had minor headache after returning to physical activities, we allowed Cameron to play in a game (without a re-check by the doctor). The result was a second concussion approximately three weeks after the first.

He barely got hit in the head, yet full-blown concussion symptoms returned later that evening following the game. This time he even appeared much worse as I could see the pain in face. His eyes were half open and his face was definitely flush. He went to watch another hockey game that even and several people noticed that he didn't look well.

So I now emphasis to all parents (and to myself) follow the appropriate return-to-play guidelines. If your child returns too soon after a concussion, there is a higher risk of a second concussion. To see recommended return-to-play guidelines, go to this link.

The most important (and probably the most neglected) guideline is to return to the previous step if any concussion symptoms occur. I beg you to pay attention to this advice.

With a second concussion, Cameron remained out of physical activity for nearly a month. He still has not returned to competitive play two months later. I plan on holding him out as long as possible since the hockey season is now over.

Fortunately his symptoms have not returned. Fingers crossed that his brain heals well enough (and is strong enough) to safely return to the game in time for next season's tryouts (in late May). We will definitely have the doctor preform a re-check shortly before he returns to game play. I pray that we avoid mistake #3.

Kids and Knee Injuries

If you're not aware already...the number of knee injuries is on the increase for young athletes.

The Today Show had a segment on this topic yesterday, Feb. 28. In the first part of the story, you will hear from Dr. Theodore Ganley, director of sports medicine at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. I'm biased because I've worked directly with Dr. Ganley in the past. His insight and research are amazing.

You can view the video here: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/#46554979

I have to admit that I hear of knee injury after knee injury from coaches whom I've interviewed in the past. Tearing an ACL is almost commonplace these days.

Injury prevention is key, so please, do what you can to keep your child injury-free...