More Abuse...

After I blogged last month on child abuse, there have been several high-profile abuse allegations. Both Syracuse basketball coach Bernie Fine and former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky were accused of multiple counts of sex abuse. Disgusting.

How does this happen? Honestly, I'm not certain. But one thing I am certain of is that I want to protect my children.

I have personally met sexual abusers and suspected sexual abusers. My fifth grade math teacher went to jail for molesting students during class. I also know a coach who was repeatedly accused of sexual abuse, but no charges were ever filed. Based on a few personal observations, here are several signs of potential abuse:

• Coaches lingering around showers.
• Kids sitting on coaches laps.
• Coaches being overly friendly (or too touchy...).
  
• Coaches selectively giving lavish or excessive gifts.
  

More signs to watch for are noted on ProtectKids.com and at USAToday.com. Of course, you need to use basic common sense to determine if a coach or another adult is crossing the line. My best advice is when in doubt, keep your child away from a potential abuser. Go with your gut.

Please, keep your children safe. Just my two cents...

Kim

Child Abuse--Protect Your Child...

I'm thoroughly disgusted by the the video released today (for which I will not post a link) of a Texas judge whipping his 16-year-old daughter with a belt. First, I'm going to scream at all of you--protect your children!

In school, church, athletic, and other programs, there are abusers and child molesters out there. And, of course, there are abusers within homes by caregivers, parents, friends, and relatives. This is horrendous. I truly want to vomit as I write this. Children are often innocent and helpless. We need to keep our eyes open and attempt to keep our children safe and unharmed.

As parents, we need to teach our children right from wrong. The child in the video which I mentioned above, was being punished for illegally downloading from internet. Sure, that is wrong. However, if the child's father had parked illegally and received a parking ticket, would the child have had the right to beat the father with a belt? No way. I know many of you might disagree, but I believe if it is not appropriate for adults to hit other adults, then it is not appropriate for adults to hit children. You can argue with me, but that is my stance.

Please, in the best interest of your child's mental and physical health, do not abuse your children. Also, report any abuse that you might suspect or oversee. I beg you...

The Responsible Athlete...

From forgetting (or neglecting) to put dishes in the dishwasher to attending practice without a water bottle, kids are irresponsible. We all know this is the case.

Is self-responsibility important? Absolutely. Many (but not all) of us tend to baby our athletes. You know what I mean--allowing her to head to school late after a long weekend of travel, buying a water bottle or Gatorade for the vending machine after she forgot to bring one from home, or purchasing a mouthguard from the soccer pro shop because she "lost" hers and didn't place the spare in her bag.

I admit it--I'm guilty of enabling my kids. I don't want to see my children miserable and forced to miss a game or practice when I can fix their mistakes. For the most part, this is human nature.

That said, I beg you to allow your children to make their own mistakes and pay the consequences. He or she will without a doubt become more responsible and remember to perform key tasks. For example, if he misses a game because he doesn't have a mouthguard, he'll surely remember to have it with him at the next game, or if he attends enough practices without water or gatorade, eventually he'll become thirsty enough and remember to pack a drink.

Now, please remind me to practice what I preach...

Kim

Congratulations USA Women's Soccer!

In yesterday's World Cup finals, Team USA won 2nd place behind Japan. Wow.

Sure, the US ladies should have taken gold (in my opinion) because they beat Japan many times in the past. However, things worked out differently. And 2nd place in the world is still amazing.

Hang in there Team USA--you will return. Redemption is sweet!

Games Gone Wrong

My twelve-year-old daughter played her last regular-season lacrosse game a couple of weeks ago. From the opposing team arriving late to the chit-chatting, unfocused players, I have some (many) complaints.

First, the opposing team went to the wrong field and arrived at the proper field over an hour late. If one team knew which field was the proper field, why didn't the other team know? I don't have an explanation, but waiting an hour was ridiculous. Coaches or team managers, please double check and confirm game times and locations prior to the game. Double please.

Next, the refs blew the whistle every two seconds to stop play in order to explain, in apparent detail, how to play the game properly. Yes, the rules are confusing, but the kids spend lots of time in practice learning right from wrong. Game time is game time. Refs, please get off your power trip and let the girls play the game --let the coaches coach.

Overall, the chit-chatting players appeared to be very focused on checking out the newest nail polish (or whatever they were looking at...), not on the ball. Coaches, pay attention to the players on the field and remind them to keep their minds on the game.

Parents, don't yell come on honey during a game. That simply doesn't make the cut in my book (unless the child is less than 10 years old). Would you say that to your son on the field? No way (at least not at age 12). You would (and should) encourage him to run hard, play strong defense, look for passes, etc., and you should do the same for your daughter. There simply are times when "honey" is appropriate and there are times when "honey" needs goes away. After the game, go ahead and say great job honey. Well, say it after he scores a goal or makes a nice pass, just not in the heat of a tense moment.

Is lack of focus a big deal? Yes. No matter what level of play, these girls signed up to play on a team so I expect some effort. I realize that on occasion things go wrong, refs don't show up, or a player has an "off" day. But many times these sort of things can be avoided.

Sorry if you disagree. I know there are plenty of focused, die-hard, athletic girls out there, in addition to many dedicated coaches and refs. Trust me, there is room for more...

Bubble Parents

At a high school lacrosse game last week, one mom pointed out a "bubble parent". What the heck is a bubble parent? I was clueless... (It appears that I was a step behind on this term.)

Well, I've been a bubble parent in the past and didn't even know it. When a high school athlete plays on junior varsity and varsity, they are considered on the "bubble". So a "bubble parent" is the parent who usually ends up watching both junior varsity and varsity events consecutively, resulting in a really, really long evening.

My advice to all of you bubble parents out there:

• Prepare to sit for four hours or longer.
• Dress warm (if the event is outside).
• Bring snacks or money to purchase snacks.
• Bring a book to read during time outs or between games.
• Enjoy the social time with other parents.

Bottom line if you are a bubble parent, it is a good thing that your child is playing on both junior varsity and varsity teams. Try to enjoy the success!

Equipment Overload

Because swimming and hockey seasons are about to end and lacrosse season is facing off, I'm back to buying equipment....again.

Does the purchasing every end? Nope. There always seems to be pads, sticks, heads, blades, cleats, running shoes, helmets, goggles, or other necessities to buy. The list is endless.

Over the years I've changed my opinion on where to draw the line. I used to be against top-of-the-line equipment. But now I've changed my stance slightly. Here are a few guidelines based on my experiences:

• Shoes/Cleats: Higher price doesn't actually mean better. I go for the best support and fit. You can often buy a shoe on sale (often last year's model) for less, and still get a decent shoe. My lovely daughter Breea is the queen of ankle sprains. For her I choose the best fit no matter what the cost. I'll do anything to prevent that child from rolling her ankle. I find that when Breea wears better fitting shoes, she runs faster and seems to injure her ankles less.
  
• Mouth guards: My kids tend to repeatedly chew on their mouth guards. The protection is necessary, but for the most part, the inexpensive ones work. If it were my mouth, I would buy the heavier, more protective models. I value my teeth. But for my kids, I go with the version he or she is willing to wear, be it expensive or inexpensive, because I want any sort of protection for them. I know that in most cases when I'm not looking, those mouth guards are not in their mouths.
  
• Protective pads: Within reason, expensive pads are beneficial in many cases. However, there is often a drawback--pricier pads are heftier/thicker models (in many cases), which sometimes restrict movement. Better protection might mean restricted physical play. My son Clark often chooses the lighter, less protective models, and he pays the price with injuries. When a puck hits his shins, the resulting bruises are not pretty.
  
• Hockey/lacrosse sticks: With hockey sticks, higher priced sticks might be top of the line. Yet top-of-the-line sticks are often not the best sticks for inexperienced players. I've heard my husband scream after many games as he curses parents for buying fancy, do-it-all, high-end sticks for their beginner hockey player. It just doesn't work that way. Lower-end models are a good choice in many cases. On the contrary, a high-end, expensive lacrosse head is sometimes a good choice for a beginner player. It might not be completely necessary, but a high-end lacrosse head can help players of many levels better control the ball.

Needless to say, I try to research sports equipment and weigh the pros and cons of various models. I take into consideration my children's personalities and varying levels of play, then I attempt to make good decisions with each individual purchase.

There are times when pricey equipment is necessary, and there are times when I put my foot down and say no. That's just the way it is. If my kids don't like it, they can do their own research and present their case. Sometimes I win the battle. Other times I give in and spend a fortune...

Young athletes live and learn in the game. Do your best to guide your kids' purchases and eventually let them fly on their own.

Expect the Unexpected: Homeless Man...

Yesterday a Columbus reporter randomly interviewed a homeless man, Ted Williams, on Interstate 71 in Columbus, Ohio. As it turned out, the guy has an amazing voice. The video was posted on YouTube and within a few hours the story took off. If you haven't heard the story by now, click HERE to see a clip on the Today Show.

This story is a true inspiration--anything can happen at any time. I have always believed in the saying expect the unexpected. None of us can know precisely what will happen in the future. There is always an amazing athlete out there who doesn't get a college athletic scholarship, an unknown athlete who ends up a star football player at a Division I University, or a small town basketball player with a recreational league background who gets drafted in the pros.

Parents, let's face it...good and bad things happen in youth sports at all times. Teach your children to keep reaching for the moon and to stay faithful to their dreams. Resilience is key.

On the flip side (because I can't keep my mouth shut), I hope and pray that Ted Williams (the homeless man) stays away from drugs and alcohol. Williams' own mother mentioned on Inside Edition (1/6/11) she feels that her son is weak and she is concerned about his ability to stay on a good path. Fingers crossed that this story continues with a fairytale ending.

As parents, please use good judgment and emotionally support your children...through the good and the bad, the expected and the unexpected. Your child might want to be in the NBA, yet ends up satisfied playing on the local rec team. So be it. Or, of course, he might end up in the NBA.

I wish Williams the best and I hope all your children's dreams come true.

Kim