Tiger Woods is Human...and so is Your Child

With a car wreck and alleged affairs, Tiger's life has been turned upside down. I'm by no means a psychologist. I will not analyze Tiger's actions. However, a little speculation is fair game.

Tiger is a phenomenal athlete and he's human. His life exists on and off the golf course. He sleeps, he eats, and he brushes his teeth. He makes mistakes.

Just like your child, Tiger lives day-to-day life and makes choices (sometimes with a little help from others). There are many "normal" aspects to Tiger's life other than the perfect pedestal life we've seen for many years.

Too many parents expect perfection from their young athlete. Tiger Woods lived a life that we didn't see in the media. Parents need to realize that the media reports are not always reality. We all have limitations. We all make good and bad choices - it's inevitable.

I'm not saying that Tiger's alleged affairs are acceptable. But I am saying that they were his choices. He made those choices, got caught, and is facing consequences. So be it. They are his problems, not ours.

Your child is your problem. You are raising your child. Don't put your child on a pedestal. Teach your child right from wrong, the importance of going to school, getting good grades, and balancing life with sports.

I've seen parents with out-of-control expectations. You know...those parents who force their children to lift weights, play on multiple teams, and go for extra runs in addition to their team's agenda. And I've observed parents who repeatedly pull their child off to the side (to give advice) after the child strikes out or misses scoring a goal.

Whether your child is a talented athlete or not, don't expect perfection in athletics. Don't make life easy for him because you think he's the next Tiger Woods. Make sure your child does his homework, loads the dishwasher, cleans his room, and attends social events. This is true reality. Don't believe that Tiger didn't do these chores. You probably just weren't aware of it.

I'm disappointed in Tiger as a role model for young athletes. However, in many ways I'm glad that we all finally saw this side of Tiger. We can learn from it.

Thanksgiving Break?

Perhaps you traveled to a youth soccer tournament or watched your child play in a local hockey game game on Thanksgiving morning. Your sister said that you're obsessed with sports and your mother's angry you didn't come home for the holiday.

Others aside, I hope you found ways to celebrate the holiday with your children and reminded them to be thankful - there is more to life than sports.

My family was in the "watching-a-youth-hockey-game" group. Yes, I admit it. We didn't have a traditional Thanksgiving. So how did we make it a memorable holiday? We approached it as an adventure:

-Drove halfway across the country on Wednesday. Yes, we were in a car instead of an airplane. (Did you know that a fourteen-year-old boy can talk for more than 14 hours and still have a voice?)

-Relaxed most of Thanksgiving day in a hotel suite. That's right - some rare R&R.

-Ate at Lonestar. The coach asked the team to hold off until Friday for a traditional Thanksgiving meal. The kids didn't mind, but they're looking forward to a belated turkey dinner next week.

-Watched a USHL hockey game - Sioux Falls vs. Sioux City (11/26/09). Our son Clark was in the lineup so his brother and sister saw where plays hockey. Here are a few pictures from the game.

Breea, Anna (family friend), and Cameron

Clark is on the left (#6)

Clark

We missed our relatives this year, but this was surely a Thanksgiving adventure we'll never forget. I'm especially thankful for good health, family, jobs, and that our children were together for the holiday. I'm also thankful that Cameron's hockey coach and Breea's swim coach allowed the kids to take a few days off.

Please wish us luck on our loooong drive home. (Does anyone know where I can buy earplugs?)

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Rough Play vs. ROUGH Play

Last week New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert clearly went too far with her rough play during a soccer game.



Yanking a ponytail is not appropriate. This is appalling! What about blatant punching or kicking? Ridiculous.

Please, please, please teach your child the importance of good sportsmanship.

Retired Police Lieutenant Dave Swords: Out-of-Control Sports Parents

After recently observing an irate sports parent, I realized how easily a situation could turn from a heated moment to a truly dangerous event. When does a situation warrant calling 911? Retired Police Lieutenant Dave Swords has agreed to give us some tips and guidelines for handling these out-of-control parents.

Q: When a sports parent is yelling and screaming inappropriately, should other parents step in and try to calm the person?

A: The problem of parents getting too involved in their kid’s sporting events has been an issue as long as organized sports have been around. Most of the time, when it becomes a problem, coaches or other parents can take care of the matter. However, there are those times when things get really out of hand.

I would say that when your reaction moves from one of annoyance to one of fear, it may be time to get out that cell phone.

Q: What are the signs that a parent is over-the-edge and poses a threat to others?

A: Every parent who has had a child in sports can probably recall a time when a parent began to berate the child from the sidelines or took it upon themselves to coach the coach. But if the person begins to make threats or disrupt the game (perhaps by barging onto the field or court), then things have moved to a different level. Often, other parents or coaches will try to intercede and regain control of the situation. But if this fails or results in threats of violence, it's time to call the police.

Q: What are the guidelines for when it's appropriate to call 911?

A: First of all, 911 should be reserved for emergencies or, as in these cases, potential emergencies. I think that as long you feel compelled to call the police in the types of situations we are thinking of today, a call to 911 is absolutely appropriate. Most people don’t have their police department’s non-emergency number committed to memory, and no one at the PD would criticize you for using 911 in this situation.

Q: When in doubt, is it better to call 911 before a situation erupts to a dangerous level?

A: Absolutely. No one wants to have to call the police on another parent, especially someone you may know, but when one thinks of the possibilities for violence, a call to the law can be a prudent move to make.

I would also add that if the problem parent leaves before the police are called but does so in a way that makes you think they could come back looking for trouble, such as an open threat to do just that, or more subtle comments that lead you to believe it may not be over, go ahead and make that call - just let the police know what is going on and ask if they could send a car to drive by on occasion until the game is over. If you get a dispatcher who tries to tell you that is not possible, or refuses to do so, ask to speak to the officer in charge.

In closing, let me repeat what I said in response to the first question. When the situation moves from annoyance to fear, it may be time to call the police. Just use your common sense and realize that while you hate to call the police because of what might happen, that is better than letting it escalate to a level where someone could get hurt. Grandma was right when she told us, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

*Dave generously offered to answer any further questions. Feel free to post in the "Comments." He will check in periodically throughout the month of October.

How a Sports Mom Gets Ready for a Weekend on the Road

As I get ready to hit the road for several out-of-state hockey games, I still find the preparation daunting after approximately ten years of traveling for youth sports. Instead of giving you advice, I'll simply share with you my day:

Morning:

• Took day off work (because there was too much to get ready for the weekend).
• Got kids off to school.
• Snuck out for quick breakfast with husband (because we won't have any time together on the weekend).
• Printed weekend swimming schedule for husband.
• Took care of a few business matters.
  

Afternoon:

• Went to Target for weekend snacks and a few extras (since I haven't been to a store in ages).
• Returned library books.
  
• Mailed bills and package at post office.
• Deposited money at bank for son (who lives in South Dakota).
• Called husband to remind him to buy internet package so we can watch oldest son's game on tv tonight.
• Made calls to change plans for trip in two weeks. (Thankful that the grandparents will be available to help us.)
  
• Bought food at grocery store for weekend.

Evening:

• Bought cord at Best Buy to connect computer to tv so we could watch son's game via internet. (This was trickier than I anticipated - I bought the wrong cord. After an hour or two of searching, I found a cord which was already attached to our DVD player and worked with my computer too. I'm not technology savvy!)
  
• Quickly ate delicious dinner. (Thank goodness husband is a good cook and doesn't mind helping out in that area once in a while.)
  
• Talked with another parent to confirm carpooling for the weekend.
• Printed map for weekend trip.
• Packed snacks for weekend.
• Packed medications for weekend. (Yes, I have a cough and cold.)
  
• Attempted to sit and watch son's game on tv.
• Told son to pack hockey equipment.
  
• Regretted that I didn't squeeze in a workout.
• Planned last minute preparations for packing in the morning.
  

All in all, I'm relieved that I took the day off work. Now, off for the weekend...

-Kim

Transitioning to a New Team

A couple of weeks ago, my son, Clark Cristofoli, moved from Ohio to South Dakota. Clark's a junior in high school and will be playing for the Sioux Falls Stampede hockey team in the USHL (United States Hockey League) this season. Upon arriving in Sioux Falls, I realized how daunting the transition to a new team can be. Sure, the move alone was daunting, but the new team was Clark's biggest concern. And I completely forgot to keep these details in mind as we treked across the country.

So...my advice comes in hindsight of my mistakes. Some kids transition easily to a new team and others worry and struggle. You, as the parent, can and should help smooth your child's transition. Here are a few tips:

• Talk with the coach before the first practice. If you're aware of your child's fears or anxiety ahead of time, tell the coach so he can help your child with the transition.
• Encourage low expectations. Even though your child might be quite skilled at a sport, there's always another athlete who's more skilled.
• Encourage preseason physical activity. Your child should run, walk, swim, strength train, or any type of appropriate activity to help him get in shape. This does not have to be organized training - a simple game of ghosts in the graveyard, hide and seek, or tag will do. Any type of exercise helps build and condition muscles. Your child will in turn arrive at the first practice in decent shape and that will likely result in a more confident athlete.
• Carpool to the first practice. If there's a player who lives nearby, arrange a carpool. When your child arrives at practice with another team member, she'll take comfort in knowing someone ahead of time.
• Throw a preseason party. This can be as simple as a potluck dinner at a park. If you arrange for the team, parents, and coaches to meet in a social setting before the first practice, kids will be more relaxed and they will have the comfort of their parents nearby. The bonus is that you'll get to know the coaches better too!

The good news is that kids are resilient - if you make mistakes, you can always adjust your approach and help your child.

What steps have you taken to help your child's transition to a new team?

-Kim

Early Knee Repair Benefits Youth Athletes

A new study confirms benefits to surgically repairing ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) knee injuries within twelve weeks for athletes aged fourteen and under. The study was authored by Theodore Ganley, M.D., director of sports medicine for The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, and colleagues.

The research also revealed that treatments delayed more than twelve weeks had significant risks, including a four-fold increase in irreparable medial meniscus tears, an eleven-fold increase in lateral compartment chondral injuries, a three-fold increase in patellotrochlear injuries, and other issues.

More detailed information is available in the AOSSM press release.

I've spent some time co-writing with Dr. Ganley over the last six months and I'm here to tell you that he's truly a brilliant, top-notch expert in pediatric sports medicine. That said, I can verify that he (and I) strongly encourage injury prevention efforts.

For optimal health, please take steps to help your child prevent injuries--it's in your child's best interest. Knee injuries are serious and can often be prevented. The American Orthopaedic Society for Sports Medicine (AOSSM) is a fantastic online resource. The web site includes sports tips, TEAM exercises, an Athletic Health Handbook, and other information under the "Resources" tab. Check it out and continue to responsibly guide your child athlete.